What Great Parents Actually Do Differently and How to Start Today | Margot Machol Bisnow (Pt 2)

🎧 Ep: 217 What Great Parents Actually Do Differently and How to Start Today | Margot Machol Bisnow (Pt 2) 

🎥 Now on video on Spotify & Apple Podcast

Part 1 revealed what successful entrepreneurs had in common as kids. Part 2 gets into the moments that actually made the difference — the real, unglamorous decisions where parents either build something in their kids or quietly take it away without ever knowing it.

This is where it gets personal. And practical.

What You'll Hear

The John Chu story that says it all The director of Wicked was in ninth grade, sneaking filmmaking videos on his laptop past bedtime, when his mom walked in and told him to put that nonsense away. He burst into tears. The next day she showed up with 10 library books on filmmaking and said: "If you want to do it, be the best." That one moment? That's the whole book.

Entrepreneurship is caught, not taught Your kids aren't listening to your advice nearly as much as they're watching your behavior. When you question the default — when you do something differently just because it makes more sense — they're catching something you didn't even know you were teaching.

The safety net every entrepreneur had — and it wasn't money Every single entrepreneur told Margot the same thing: "I always knew I could go home." That emotional safety net gave them the courage to take enormous risks. You don't have to fund their dreams. You just have to be there when it doesn't work.

The Tony Hsieh / Summit story in full Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh asked Elliott: are there people here you wouldn't want to hang out with if they weren't successful? Elliott said yes. Tony said: never invite them back. That one conversation changed how Summit curated its entire community — and what it means to be intentional about who you let in the room.

What to do when your kid seems joyless and you don't know why If your child is anxious, checked out, or just going through the motions — Margot's answer isn't a program or a framework. It's a conversation. "You don't seem like you're enjoying this. What would you want to try instead?" The kid just needs to know their answer is safe.

Moments You Won't Want to Miss

"She came back the next day with 10 filmmaking books and said — if you want to do it, be the best. That's the whole thing right there.""Every single one of them told me: I always knew I could go home. That gave them the courage to take the big risks.""It's caught, not taught. If you're taking risks and seeing things differently — your kids are catching that."

This Episode Answers

• How do I show my kids resilience instead of just talking about it?
• What do I do when my child wants to quit something they were good at?
• How do I raise a kid who takes risks without being reckless?
• What does it mean to give your child a safe place to fail?
• How do successful entrepreneurs describe their parents?

About Margot Former FTC Commissioner and White House adviser turned author and speaker. Her book Raising an Entrepreneur is based on interviews with 70 entrepreneurs and their families. Her son Elliott Bisnow founded Summit event series. Her son Austin fronts alt-band Magic Giant.

📘 Book · 🌐 Website · 📸 @margotbisnow · 💼 LinkedIn

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Transcript

John Chu And A Parent Pivot

SPEAKER_00 0:00

John Chu, who directed Wicked, the nicest guy ever. And his parents were immigrants. They met in the US and started a restaurant in Palo Alto called Chef Chew's. And um his parents wanted the kids to be doctors and lawyers and professional things. And from fourth grade, all John wanted to do was make movies that he had sort of discovered. And it's like all he wanted to do. And his parents thought it was kind of stupid. So I think he was in ninth grade and he was supposed to be sleeping, and he was doing a video on his laptop, and his mom came in and said, put that nonsense away. You've got to get your rest so you do well in school tomorrow. And he burst into tears and he said, You can't make me stop. This is what I love. This is what I want to do for my life. And she said, Go to sleep, we'll talk tomorrow. And she picked him up at school the next day and she'd been to the library with 10 filmmaking books. And she said, If you want to do it, be the best.

Show Mission And Host Intro

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Welcome to Evoke Greatness, the podcast for bold leaders and big dreamers who refuse to settle. I'm your host Sonny, CEO, entrepreneur, and someone who's spent over 20 years building, leading, and learning what it really takes to rise. Every step of that journey has taught me something worth passing on lessons in business, leadership, resilience, and the psychology behind it all. Here you'll hear raw conversations, unfiltered truths, and the kind of wisdom that ignites something deeper in you, your courage, your conviction, and your calling. This show will help you think bigger, lead better, and show up bolder in every part of your life and business. This is your place to grow. Let's rise together.

Modeling Risk And New Perspective

SPEAKER_01 1:52

And it's like, gosh, if we just leaned in a little bit more, even as parents, right? Because it's not necessarily it's like the caught not taught. So if you're exhibiting some of these things, your kids are catching you doing these really cool things, taking a risk, trying something, viewing something a little bit different than maybe the rest of the world views it. I think that's so much about like how they go, hmm, maybe I could try something. Maybe I could see this a little bit differently. And then they actually take the chance on doing it.

SPEAKER_00 2:21

Yeah, I did something earlier in the week, and I actually posted about it in Instagram because I walk five miles a day. And like I drive to an appointment, and then I come home and then I walk five miles. Or if I'm in Miami, I walk five miles in the morning because it gets hot and then I come home and then I drive to my appointment. And I suddenly I was like, why don't I just walk to my appointment? Right. Wha wh why was I doing it the way it's always been done, just because that's how people always do it? That's kind of stupid. I can just walk to get my hair cut and then walk back and then I don't have to walk in the neighborhood.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's just yeah. It's it's the willingness to see it differently. Uh that also reminds me of something that we we heard in the news recently, which was um someone who broke the sub-four hour, I think it was sub-four hour um marathon. Maybe it's sub-two hour. Anyway, it broke a record of which people thought something. Yeah. Of like, there's no way. There's no way that it can be done under this period of time, or like the four-minute mile. People 50 years ago didn't think that was possible. And so everybody just believed that it wasn't possible until one time someone was like, Hey, I can run pretty fast. I'm gonna try this. Oh, hey, look.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

Or the the horse that won the derby, who was like the last horse in the pack. Exactly. And then the the the jockey didn't say, Well, we're the last horse in the pack. I'm giving up. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

Time to win. Yep. Yep, absolutely.

What Pride Looks Like Daily

SPEAKER_01 4:00

You say the only thing that truly matters is parents' attitude. What does that actually look like on a random, you know, Tuesday afternoon? Not necessarily in theory, but like real life.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

I think it's just being proud of your kids for what they're doing. As I said, not necessarily for what they're not doing or not being successful. And um, I can give you a couple examples. One of my favorites is John Chu, who directed Wicked, the nicest guy ever. And his parents are immigrants. They met in the U.S. and started a restaurant in Palo Alto called Chef Chew's. And um, his parents wanted the kids to be doctors and lawyers and sort of professional things. And from fourth grade, all John wanted to do was make movies that he had sort of discovered. And it's like all he wanted to do, and his parents thought it was kind of stupid. And um, so I think he was in ninth grade and he was supposed to be sleeping, and he was doing a video on his laptop, and his mom came in and said, Put that nonsense away. You've got to get your rest so you do well in school tomorrow. And he burst into tears and he said, You can't make me stop. This is what I love. This is what I want to do for my life. And she said, Go to sleep, we'll talk tomorrow. And she picked him up at school the next day and she'd been to the library with 10 filmmaking books. And she said, if you want to do it, be the best.

SPEAKER_01 5:17

Oh, that's a that's that's a perfect example. That's a perfect

Choosing People Who Lift Rooms

SPEAKER_01 5:21

example. You have another story about Tony Shea, uh, the Zappo's CEO, asking Elliot if they there were people at the summit that he'd only hang out with the or that he wouldn't hang out with other than the fact that they were there.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

No, other if they weren't famous. If they weren't famous. Are there people you wouldn't want to hang out with if they weren't successful? And are there people here who you wouldn't want to hang out with if they weren't successful? And Elliot said yes. And Tony said, then you can never invite them back because it will ruin everything you're trying to do. And it was like this was the second one, you know. Elliot had this first one with 18 people. And then he, this was the first one with like peep, you know, 60 people. And Tony said this. And Elliot was like, it was like an epiphany. Up until, you know, he had just been inviting successful people, you know, people with X amount of, you know, ibadah or whatever. And uh just it was an epiphany. And he said, I'm not going to invite people with a certain amount of, you know, income or, you know, revenue. I'm going to invite people who have started something and who are nice. And when you change your definition of who you're inviting to someone who has started something and who is a kind person, suddenly you don't just get a bunch of white men. You get, you know, a much more diverse uh group. And so from then on, it's that that summit is just it's people who have started something and who and who are nice people.

unknown 6:54

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

And if you're a jerk, you don't get invited back, by the way.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

There we go.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

Which is a totally fair No matter how successful you are.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

That's right. No jerks allowed. That's a that's a great um that's a great way to shift the dynamic of a room, right? It only takes one jerk to draw the room down. But when you set boundaries around who you're willing to allow in the room, because ultimately someone is the um is the thermostat and they're adjusting the temperature of the room. And so there's a choice. It can either draw it down or it can heat it up, and and it sounds like he's really fine-tuned the group of folks who want to be a part of that.

SPEAKER_00 7:39

Right. I can give you another example from your

Finding Mentors Who See Talent

SPEAKER_00 7:42

question. Uh Benny Blanco, who's a famous songwriter, and he's more famous now because he just married Selena Gomez. But he's amazing. He has like 25 number one hits. When he was in kindergarten, his mother said she'd get a call every week from his teacher saying Benny won't sit in the circle, and she'd say so. And um when he was in high school, he said all his teachers found him so annoying. And um she found him a um a music teacher outside of school who said he was the most talented kid he'd ever worked with in 30 years. And that meant more to Benny than whatever his high school teach, you know, teachers thought of him. You know, so um she went out of her way. She knew his teachers didn't like him and didn't think much of him. And she went out of her way to find someone in the field that he was interested in who thought he was amazing. You know, so there's things parents can do.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

Yeah. It's so interesting how it goes back to what you first said, which is kids give off signs as to what they have interest in. My now 18-year-old, he's maybe the more outgoing of the two. And my my younger one is a little bit more reserved. And my brother, who's been an entrepreneur for many years, happened to make mention one time. He said, That kid's gonna be one hell of an entrepreneur. And I said, What? I didn't like it, it was such a foreign thing that he would say that. I said, Why do you say that? He said, he can sell to anyone. He doesn't, he'll walk up and he'll give his spiel, and it doesn't hurt his feelings if it doesn't go well. Like he, and I thought, and so ever since he said that, I have seen my son in a different way. So it's funny sometimes when we don't see it, but uh in what those within close proximity do. And so now it is now I think back to the lemonade stands and the cutting the grass and washing the cars and all these things, he'd go around the neighborhood and ask people, do you want me to clean your garbage cans out? Do you want me to do this? And I thought, he really has been since he's been young. And so having him lean into those things, be willing to take the risk around it and uh and have parents who feel like you frankly, kid, like go at it.

unknown 9:52

Right.

SPEAKER_01 9:53

Go at it. Worst case scenario, you fall down, you skin your knees, and you get back up. Right. No, that's great. I love that. Okay, quick pause to tell you about my partners at Roe Nutrition. I came to them as a customer first. I have both Hashimoto's and I am smack dab in the middle of perimenopause. Their liposomal supplements have been a game changer for my brain fog, fatigue, and inflammation. I'm currently taking their NAD plus, glutathione, and curcumin. And I recently added in both collagen and creatine. Anyone who knows me knows I only put my name behind what I actually use, and Roe has earned it. You can use the code SUNY15S O N N I E15 for 15% off at roe nutrition.com, or you can click the link in the show notes and it'll take you right there. All right, let's hop

Moms Dads And Resilience Practices

SPEAKER_01 10:42

back into the answer. So sometimes it's just about paying attention uh and and listening to those things that maybe you're not seeing. So I love that. Um you you focused a lot on the role of the mother specifically in a world where where we, you know, kind of push for equal parenting. Was there something that you found uh about moms that felt like they had that bigger influence?

SPEAKER_00 11:04

There's sort of a two unrelated part answer to that. The first is that the people I was interviewing, you know, they're now 40 years old. So I think it's evolved. I think the parents of kids who are now 10 years old, the dads are more involved. The other part of that is that the other answer is that I think moms in general tend to be more kind of nurturing and sympathetic. Several people told me about the influence of their dad, that their dad was their major influence in their life. But in general, I think it's the dads. Often the dads are like, Well, you're gonna have a normal job, right? And the mom is like, no, see how happy he is doing doing this.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

Yeah. Yeah. Not always, but sometimes. I think everybody talks about resilience. Um, but you actually studied families where kids have it, right? What did those parents, you know, we had talked about a few things, but maybe what did those parents specifically do, not say, but like what were maybe some of their actions that really helped build the thing so that kids didn't see, oh gosh, I don't want to fail. Like sometimes it's hard for us to allow our kids to see us fail, right? There's that element to it.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

It it's that whole thing about failure, that failure is not a bad thing. Failure is how you learn and grow. Every single one of them told me that they always knew they could go home again. John Chu told me, my I always knew if it, you know, if things didn't work, that I could go home. And that gave me the courage to take big risks. He didn't have to go home. But I mean, so many of them, I mean, he wasn't the only one who said this. I heard this over and over and over and over. That they their parents were always, you know, you're gonna have ups and downs. Nobody's like this, you know, and we're here for you. You know, what the first one didn't work, that's okay. Maybe the second one will work, and maybe the third one will work. And one reason this is a second edition of my book, one reason I did a second edition is, you know, after five years, they were all doing something different. I mean, they had sold their company or they had evolved their company or they'd moved into a different aspect in their or something. Like, you know, this is not like the 90s where, you know, people graduate from college and get a job at IBM and stay there until they're 60 and retire. That's like, right? No, it's not that world anymore. And all these parents were just go for it, and we're here when it doesn't work out. We know there's going to be ups and downs, and we know you're gonna succeed in the end.

Helping Kids Quit And Explore

SPEAKER_01 14:01

If there's a parent listening right now who's done everything right, you know, they've the the good school, the activities, the structure, but their kid seems anxious or joyless or like they're just going through the motions. What's something that you would recommend that they do with their kids to maybe help get them in the right direction?

SPEAKER_00 14:23

I don't think there's a one answer for every child. I think the parents have to talk to them. You don't seem like you're really enjoying baseball. Do you do you want to quit? Is there something else you want to do instead? Is this, is this not a good school for you? Do you want to try a different kind of school? Like, what can we do that that makes that that's gonna make a difference for you? But what would you like to try instead? What isn't working? I don't know the answer. Do they know the answer?

SPEAKER_01 14:50

Have they ever asked? It's almost like exploration, right? And sometimes we feel a little bit stuck when when we want our kid to be fulfilled, but we can see that they're not. Sometimes you're a little bit frozen. And so I think that's great advice. Exploration and and talking, sitting down and talking.

SPEAKER_00 15:08

I mean, I can't tell you how many of these kids changed schools. They went from a small private school to a big public school. They went from a big public school to a small private school. They they went to live with an uncle in a different town to go to a different kind of school. They went overseas to do school for a year. I mean, you have to see what's working for your kid. There's not like one size fits all. And, you know, the kid has to know that whatever answer they give you, it's okay. You're not disappointed in the answer. I mean, I remember one kid in high school, in my kids' high school, saying that, you know, they they had become like a champion figure skater and they were just done with it. And their parents were so disappointed because they'd seen how hard they'd worked and how well they'd done and how successful they'd become. No, it's not our call. It's their call. If they're done with figure skating, let them stop figure skating.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

You know, a lot of these people changed their passion several times in the, you know, growing up. It was one, it was acting, and then it was singing, and then it was storytelling, and then it was modeling, and you know, then it was basketball. I mean, it's, you know, see what works. And it's it's for them to quit when it isn't working.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

Yeah, I love that.

The Entrepreneurial Mindset For Life

SPEAKER_01 16:33

Well, as we wrap up, um, there's one question I always love to ask, and it's it's especially meaningful. As I said, I I'm so intrigued by all that you've been able to take out of the people that you've met with and how you've distilled this into a book. And it's kind of this continued evolution. If it were your last annot, and of all the conversations you've had and the experiences you've got to share with people and all of that, you could take one piece of guidance or advice for the world to share it with them. What would that be?

SPEAKER_00 17:06

So I actually have this in my book. If I can read it. Yes, please. Even if your child doesn't want to be an entrepreneur, encouraging them to become more entrepreneurial by promoting certain attitudes can only be a good thing. All children thrive if they learn to believe in themselves, to pursue their true passions, to find new ways to solve old problems, to see opportunity where others see the status quo, to be willing to take on a challenge without proper credentials, to work with single-minded determination to achieve a goal, to take on risk if the project is worth trying, to learn that building something wonderful is its own reward regardless of how much money you make, to view failure as feedback and setbacks as learning experiences, and to dream big dreams.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

That was perfect. For those looking at the screen, here's a picture of the book. Margot,

Book Links And Final Challenge

SPEAKER_01 18:09

I would love for you to share. We'll put this in the show notes too, but where can people go to order the book to find out, learn more about you, follow along with you?

SPEAKER_00 18:17

It's on Amazon and I'm on Instagram at Margobisnow, and I'm on LinkedIn. I think it's not very good at LinkedIn. Margo may call Bisnow. And I have a website, raisingantrepreneur.com, that has links to like the hundred articles I've written.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Excellent. Well, um, a lot of parents listen. And so I think this is gonna be, like I said, really meaningful. It's it's especially meaningful to me. So I sure do appreciate your time. I appreciate the good works that you've been doing and how you've really leaned in to your children, even as adults, and I think other people's parenting and kids leaning into the entrepreneurial side of the world are gonna benefit as a result of it. So I appreciate you.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

Thanks, Sunny.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

This was so much fun. I loved your questions. Okay, stay with me for just a second before you go. Living with Hashimoto's and being in the middle of perimenopause means brain fog shows up in the middle of conversations, decisions, and moments that matter. And I refuse to stay there. I'm very selective about what I put in my body. Intentional. So when Meraki Blue came to me wanting to support this community, I said yes because I already believed in what they do. Methylene Blue, mitochondrial health, cognitive performance, mental clarity. It works for me. I want it to work for you too. Meraki Blue is giving the Evoke Greatness community 20% off. Use the code EvokeGREATness, all caps, no spaces at checkout. I promise you, your brain isn't broken. It's just waiting on the right support. If today's episode challenged you, moved you, or lit a fire in your soul, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with someone who's ready to rise in their leadership, their business, and their life. And if you haven't already, I'd be so grateful if you took 30 seconds to rate and review the podcast. It's one of the most powerful ways to support the show and help us reach more bold leaders like you. Because this isn't just a podcast, it's a movement. We're not here to play small. We're here to lead loud and elevate how we think, lead, and execute. One bold and unapologetic step at a time. Until next time, stay bold, stay grounded, and make moves that make mediocre uncomfortable.