Stop Waiting for Permission: How to Lead Without Limits, with Tricia Stover Part 1

🎧 Ep. 201  Stop Waiting for Permission: How to Lead Without Limits, with Tricia Stover Part 1

In Part 1 of this powerful and deeply human conversation, leadership and mindset expert Tricia Stover shares the story that shaped everything.

After losing her husband unexpectedly at 35 while raising three young children, Tricia was forced to rebuild her life from the ground up. What began as a personal assistant role evolved into a decades-long journey of growth, mentorship, and ultimately founding Performance Masters. But none of it happened because someone handed her permission.

It happened the moment she stopped asking for it.

We talk about grief, resilience, reinvention, and the quiet ways high achievers limit themselves without realizing it. This episode is for the leader who looks successful on paper but knows there’s another level available… and is ready to access it.

We explore:

• How tragedy reshaped Tricia’s identity and leadership
• The unseen weight of leading while navigating grief
• When resilience becomes a limitation
• The danger of waiting for permission in business and life
• Why failure must be part of the plan
• Boundaries, alignment, and outgrowing relationships
• Moving from mentee to mentor with purpose

🔑 Key Takeaways:

• No one is coming to save you… and that realization is empowering
• Waiting for permission is often self-imposed
• Failure refines you, even when it humbles you
• Alignment with your values makes hard decisions clearer
• Removing limitations creates space for freedom and purpose

💡 Quotes to Remember:

“You just have to learn that there really are no limitations.”

“I waited for so many years for permission… and when I decided I was done asking, no one was telling me no.”

“Failure is part of my plan. I know it’s going to happen.”

📚 Resources:

✨ Learn more about Tricia and Performance Masters:

https://performance-masters.com/

📲 Connect with Tricia:

LinkedIn – http://linkedin.com/in/tricia-stover-bfa

🎙️ Coming Up in Part 2

In Part 2, we go deeper into fear of failure, the loneliness of leadership, delegation, boundaries, and how high-performing women can release control without losing excellence.

Because on the other side of fear… is freedom.

And we’re just getting started.

A rising tide raises all ships, and I invite you along on this journey to Evoke Greatness!

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Transcript

No Limitations Mindset

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You just have to learn that there really are no limitations at the end of the day. That was my turning point in my business because I waited for so many years for permission for everything. And when I made the decision that I was done asking permission, no one was telling me no. That was my indicator that I was doing something right. I took those limitations right out of my vocabulary.

Stop Waiting For Permission

Meet Trisha Stover

The Breakdown Before The Breakthrough

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Welcome to Evoke Greatness, the podcast for bold leaders and big dreamers who refuse to settle. I'm your host, Sonny. I started in Scrubs over 20 years ago, doing the gritty, unseen work and climbed my way to CEO. Every rung of that ladder taught me something worth passing on. Lessons in leadership, resilience, and what it really takes to rise. You'll hear raw conversations, unfiltered truths, and the kind of wisdom that ignites something deeper in you. Your courage, your conviction, your calling. This show will help you think bigger, lead better, and show up bolder in every part of your life. This is your place to grow. Let's rise together. Before we jump in, let me ask you something. Where in your life are you still waiting for permission? Permission to lead, permission to pivot, permission to go after the thing that won't leave you alone. Today's conversation is a reminder that no one is coming to validate your calling. If you've been playing small out of fear of failure, this episode is your nudge. Let's hop into it. Welcome back to another episode of Evote Greatness. Today's guest is Trisha Stover, a powerhouse in the world of mindset, leadership, and authenticity. Trisha is the founder of Performance Masters and has spent her career helping leaders break free from internal limits to lead with clarity and show up fully as who they actually are, not who they think they're supposed to be. Her work sits at the intersection of performance and self-awareness, where mindset meets execution and authenticity becomes a competitive advantage. Trisha's approach doesn't just talk about leadership from a theoretical place. She challenges leaders to look inward, confront their patterns, and take radical responsibility for how they think, lead, and live. This conversation is for anyone who's successful on paper but knows that there is another level available and is ready to access it. Tricia, welcome to the show. Thanks so much, Sunny. It's great to be here. Well, I always like to do a look back before we look forward or assess where you are today. And so I want to kick off with a bit of a two-part question. And that is you do deep work in that mindset and leadership space. What originally pulled you into this work? And then kind of that part two is what did you first have to confront within yourself to be able to lead others in this way?

Loss, Single Parenthood, And Reinvention

Mentorship And Skill Building

From Mentee To Founder

Coaching Next-Gen Women

SPEAKER_00 3:15

Um, I'll start with the second portion of that, and then I'll go back to the first question. I'll just be honest here when I talk about breaking down, right? Having the breakdowns in life that everyone has, but not everyone is capable of admitting it or how to get through it. And in business and in personal life, it just happens. There are so many unexpected twists and turns in life. And you go through them blaming others. You can even blame yourself, right? But when you take ownership of what's happening and you've realized that I say this all the time, no one is coming to save you. And it's really true. And for those who have people that come to save them, I am a little jealous of that because I have not had that throughout my lifetime. Why I do what I do goes back to 20 years ago. I was 35 years old. I was a stay-home mom, and I have three children, and my children were young at the time. And I unexpectedly lost my husband. And I didn't have an education, I didn't have a career path. I had a white picket fence that that was the life I was going to live the rest of my life. And it's as if the world pulled the rug out from underneath me. It wasn't just myself, it was my children because of their ages. My youngest was 10 at the time, and then my daughter was 12, my oldest was 17. And navigating a family, when you lose your husband and their father, you start to look at life a little bit differently. And I could have taken the easy route by, I don't know, getting married and having someone else take care of me and all these things, but their grief stages along with my grief stages were really important. But I also had to plan for my future. How was I going to do this? How was I going to raise my kids by myself, put them through college, pay for everything? Granted, there are survivor benefits that come along with that, but they stop on a dime. And um this was in 2005 that I lost him. And it still chokes me up today because this is last year was the 20-year anniversary of his passing. And you think it gets easier, but it never gets easier, right? So that was really my drive at the time, but I didn't really know how to do it, and I never anticipated it coming to where it is today 20 years later. I started out with this small company in my hometown, Port Huron, Michigan. They called me and said, We've heard about your story. We want you to come and work for us. We need a personal assistant, someone to pick up our dry cleaning, our lunches, and do our filing. And I said, sure, I'll try this out, right? And that's that's really the beginning of this story. Because what ended up happening is they mentored me and they taught me how to run a business and how to plan financially. And I stayed with them for eight years until my youngest was old enough to go to college. All my kids were adults at the time, which actually was the hardest part. Navigating your children in the years of 18 to 25 is really the toughest part of parenthood that I have found because they're now adults, they're trying to figure out their own life path. And I was still trying to figure out my life path at the same time. So all four of us were in college at the same time, in four different colleges. And um, I ended up having to move and leave my kids at the time to pursue an education. I was invited into a consulting firm in Michigan, and I loved this firm because it was a it was the same firm that coached me as I was working building my career from personal assistant to business development to organizational development. And I ended up having this invitation to coach others and be coached at the same time. I stayed with them for eight years until a business owner in Seattle, Andrew Norman, he owns Colibri Capital, which is a financial firm in Bellevue, Washington. He was one of my clients and he said, I see you, but you do not see yourself yet. And he said, Come to work for me. I came to work for him, and a year later he said, You need to start your own business. And that's what happened, and it just keeps going. But I've my purpose now is to give back because of every single person that took an interest in me, not necessarily because of my story, but because they've molded me into this butterfly over the years, and it has just compounded in so many directions. Um, I'm so grateful. So now what I love to focus on is next generation young women who are in their 20s, who are taking over organizations and building their own businesses, and it is the most rewarding thing I have ever experienced in my life.

Resilience And The Valley

SPEAKER_01 9:46

What a story though, because it is not anyone who has been through the fire, right? You've been through the valley in whatever capacity, in whatever way that means to someone, because it's deeply personal. Those valleys are deeply personal to us. And what I just think about is man, what resilience, right? Because when you were going through that, you weren't dealing with one set of grief that you were going through. You had four, four different worlds that were grieving in probably different ways. And I I can only imagine the roller coaster that that was of trying to figure out what do I do from the from my perspective for the family. How do I how do I show up through this time as a parent? How do I show up this time of trying to navigate myself? And it is truly when we can learn to embrace those really hard things that we go through, that that's really that just like sums up what evoking greatness is about. It's calling up that greatness from when our within ourselves. But it does, it's not always pretty. It's oftentimes messy and hard. And I always say that it's not like the mountaintop that's the really good, that's always a really cool place to be, but it's the cold, dark valley that oftentimes we come out with bloodied knees and we're exhausted. And I can only imagine what you had to navigate through that. But you made a decision to take those opportunities and say, How can I fully embrace this? Learn everything I can and just lean all the way in. And so that was that's I'm sure such a hard story still to even tell. But man, I just stand here, you know, with um so much of a heart space for you and all that you went through, but also that period when you're the cocoon forming into the butterfly. And that, of course, is not a pretty moment either, right? It's it's messy and it's gooey and it's sticky. And then all of a sudden, this beautiful thing happens. And sometimes it takes a really long time. But man, I really do honor your story and all that you've navigated through that. So I appreciate you sharing the background, which is so often why I like to go take a glance backwards before we go forward.

When Strength Becomes A Limit

SPEAKER_00 11:59

Absolutely. And to confirm, yes, that it's been a total hell or was a total hell for a very long time. And it was not just a hell for me, but obviously my kids and we function as a unit, and we have all gone through the same hell together. And um, it matters now that we're all adults and uh it still surfaces all the time, but it's more of a celebration now than the hell that we lived, right? So it's the glue that keeps us together.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

Many leaders pride themselves on resilience and on drive. At what point do you think that strength quietly can turn into a limitation for someone?

Listening, Ownership, And No-Permission Rule

SPEAKER_00 12:47

Well, I've been there too, because there are times when you have to choose between what you need and what you want. And it's a tight rope. You know, financially it's a tight rope, or it was a tight rope. And knowing what to put first, who to put first, it has been limiting in relationships because you can only give so much of yourself before you deplete yourself. And um, I will probably bring my kids up a hundred times in this conversation, but in the end, when you lead by example and they know that you're leading from your heart and you are leading from that place within to provide and care for others, and not only in the personal life, but that's also the pathway for coaching is putting others first and knowing when to pull the trigger, knowing when to sit back. The biggest thing I've learned is listening, understanding when things go haywire, which are all the time, looking inward at myself before I take those next steps has become a really important key in how I operate in general, both with my family and my professional career. And by the way, I run my family like a business because that was the only way to do it, right? You have to corral and you know, you're hurting cats all the time, and you just have to learn that there really are no limitations at the end of the day. And that was my turning point in my business because I waited for so many years for permission for everything. I was used to asking or waiting for someone to ask me. And when I made the decision, must have been about five years ago, that I was done asking permission. And the reason was no one was telling me no. So that was my indicator that I was doing something right because no one is telling me no. And it allowed this um this platform to just organically develop on my timeline now that my kids were older and I now have the flexibility a little bit more. I took those limitations right out of my vocabulary and I just said I'm gonna go for it. And this is what how it's gonna be. And I have a plan, I always have a plan. And failure is also part of my plan. I know that I'm going to fail. I know I'm going to fail another dozen times in the future, but I know it's going to happen. And I'm okay with that because that's really in the failure, is where I found that's where I have refined myself and I embrace it. I just don't like it. I don't like it at all because it really holds up that mirror. And you're saying, man, all these things, you know, these things keep happening. And it's the definition of insanity until you look at yourself and say, okay, I need to change myself. So yeah, there's no limitation in my life right now. And it is the most freeing feeling I could ever have.

Failure As A Deliberate Strategy

Fear, Delegation, And Trust

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Earlier this week, we had uh leaders from within our organization come together and we do an annual conference. And the goal is really to give them the tools and resources to pour into them so that they can take that back with them and pour, pour out into those around them. One of the things we talked about was limitations and what are you willing to let go of that doesn't serve you. And so it was really interesting to hear a lot of really great, resilient, ambitious women. And when they talked about the limitations, what I what kind of correlated with this question was fear of failure. And so I want to make sure I'm doing all the right things because I'm I'm ambitious and I'm driven and I want to grow and but I'm terrified of failing. And the other one was feeling like they had to do it all on their own. And so it gets lonely and you you don't trust anyone else enough. That's what we kind of we peeled back the layers and it was really, are you saying you don't trust your team enough? And it was like, oh, well, no, but yes. And so we talked through delegation and we talked through kind of that trust equation of what it takes to really feel like you trust others enough to say, I'm not going to try to control everything because that doesn't serve anyone. But that also gives the opportunity for others to grow. And so when we let go of some of those limitations of those, some of those things, even mentally, that hold us back, not only does it allow us space, like you've talked about, like it's freeing to not have those limitations sitting around you all the time, but we're also a mirror to those we're leading. And so when we can say, you know what, things are gonna get messy and bumpy sometimes. And that was what I told them. If you ask anyone in this room how many times they've failed, like you'll need all day long to hear the answers because we've all messed things up, which is part of the process. If we can mess the things up, learn really sometimes hard but good lessons, and come out better and stronger on the other side, then it was all worth it. And so uh I love that you that you talk about letting go of those limitations because it really is so free.

Boundaries, Values, And Alignment

Patience, Purpose, And Mentorship

SPEAKER_00 18:28

It absolutely is. It's um it that's where the mindset comes in, right? We and you said this fear of failure, fear of, you know, I'm not gonna have enough money to do this and and I'm gonna fail here and having to rearrange. People look at business owners, established business owners as having an easy life. There's this stereotype that life is grand because we're happy and we're in the community and we do things for others, and everything looks beautiful on the outside, but it's pretty messy behind closed doors. You know, we have calendars and families and clients and, you know, life in general and taking care of ourselves. There's not enough time in the day. We have to find the right people in our lives. And what I have learned the hard way is sometimes you have to let the people that don't really belong in your life, you still love them, right? But you have to let them go. And it's not necessarily letting them go. It's more of you're not aligned with them anymore. And going back to, I'm a big values person, when you establish your values and then you establish your goals and you have that through line from your values to your goals, you cannot please everyone. And the people who want the free ride tend to weed themselves out, right? And then you end up with this core group of support system, whether it's women, men, whoever. And I have a combination of both. Luckily, they stick with you. And in turn, you stick with them because you realize that they're going through the same things you are. So it just becomes this collaboration and having a circle that way of, you know, fellow coaches and fellow business owners. And I have found um, you know, and I I know you've heard this saying that you are who you hang out with. I, because of working so many hours over the years with so many other business owners, we are now friends and we refer each other back and forth, and we have this really solid trust system between each other. But it it has taken a decade to build. So it's really about patience and knowing your values, knowing your goals, and sticking to them. And, you know, it's gonna hurt some feelings here and there. Boundaries is another one because that comes right into play with what we're talking about right now. Knowing what your boundaries are, what you're willing to do, how much you're willing to give yourself to others and why. There's a lot of pro bono work that I do, and it it doesn't go to just anyone, it goes to something purposeful and meaningful, and it has to stick. So my pro bono work that I do um is really with the younger generation because I see the talent and I want them to win. I want them to grow a life. themselves and I want them to be successful. So there's all kinds of terms, you know, boundaries, limitations, fear of failure. It's all there. But it's real. But when you're on the other side of that, you become that mentor. When I was the mentee for so many years, and I will always be a mentee because I feel like I still need a coach. And I always want to be coached and I always want to learn. But when you switch over and say, now I'm the mentor and I'm going to help you. And it doesn't matter if you've been in business for 40 years, I'm still going to help you. And I'm going to also help the next generation. And that again gets into this mind space of purpose. So when you know your purpose and when you know your calling, it's so much easier to do, but it just takes years to get there. It doesn't happen overnight.

Gratitude For The Slow Build

Teaser For Part Two

Share, Review, And Lead Loud

SPEAKER_01 23:02

There's certainly no fast track path to that. It is oftentimes feels way slower than it's actually going. And then there you get to a point where you then go, oh my gosh, I can't believe how far I've come. At the same time, it's this kind of alternate space where you think, oh, I'm never like it's just feels like it's taking so long. And then boom, all of a sudden one day you you open your eyes to, wow, I can't believe where I am. Which is and that piece can be so filled with gratitude and so reflective. And I think as we go through that, it's our responsibility as mentees, mentors, as leaders to share that with others. Because oftentimes people want to share the really nice story of, wow, my path was up and to the right. And while those are stories are great to hear, it makes it um, it makes it real for people when you're willing to share those times when you tripped up and fell down. And what did you do as a result? And that allows people to almost vicariously step over some potholes if you're sharing things with them that they don't have to experience because they heard a lesson and it was like, okay, that really resonates. And I'm gonna step over this and avoid that on my own. I'll find another one down the road. But it's, you know, I really do feel like it's such a sense of a response as leaders to be able to be real and be authentic and be vulnerable in how we share. Yeah. Okay, this is where we hit the pause button. Make sure to come back next week. In part two, we go deeper into the fear of failure, the loneliness of leadership, delegation, boundaries, and how high-performing women can release control without losing excellence. Because on the other side of fear is freedom. And we're just getting started. If today's episode challenged you, moved you, or lit a fire in your soul, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with somebody who's ready to rise. Can I ask you to take 30 seconds to leave a review? It's the best way to say thank you and help this show reach more bold leaders like you. Because this isn't just a podcast, it's a movement. We're not here to play small. We're here to lead loud, one bold and unapologetic step at a time. Until next time, stay bold, stay grounded, and make moves that make mediocre uncomfortable.