Evoke Greatness Podcast

When Success Breaks You Open with Josh Kosnick (Pt. 2)

• Sonnie Linebarger • Episode 195

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🎧 Episode 195: When Success Breaks You Open with Josh Kosnick (Pt. 2)

In Part 2 of this deeply reflective conversation, I welcome back leadership coach, speaker, and author Josh Kosnick to explore the bridges most leaders avoid until life forces their hand…legacy, alignment, energy, relationships, and the truth about how we actually want to be remembered.

Building on the foundation of identity and faith from Part 1, this episode moves into the present-tense work of leadership. The kind that isn’t about titles, accolades, or someday success…but about the daily choices that either close the gap between who we are and who we’re becoming…or quietly widen it.

Together, we unpack what it means to live with intention now, informed by Josh’s work with high-performing leaders and my own lived experience walking alongside people at the very end of life, where unfinished business becomes painfully clear.

He offers insights on:

• Why legacy is not something you leave behind, but something you leave in others

 â€˘ The two biggest myths leaders believe about legacy…and why both are dangerous

 â€˘ What people truly regret at the end of life…and what they don’t

 â€˘ Why “good” and “great” can become enemies of what’s actually possible

 â€˘ How energy leaks reveal misalignment before burnout ever shows up

 â€˘ Why work-life balance is a myth…and what maximization really looks like

 â€˘ How your calendar tells the truth about your priorities

 â€˘ Simple practices like clarity breaks and gratitude that restore perspective and presence

🔑 Key takeaways:

Legacy is built daily, not someday

 Alignment matters more than achievement

 Energy is an early warning system for misalignment

 Presence creates more impact than performance alone

 Living intentionally now prevents regret later

đź’ˇ Quotes to remember:

“Legacy isn’t what you leave behind…it’s what you leave in people.”

“Good and great are often the enemies of what’s actually possible.”

“If there’s a gap between how you want to be remembered and how you’re living, the work is closing that gap.”

If you’ve checked the boxes but still feel an internal tension you can’t quite name…

 If you want success that feels whole, not hollow…

 If you’re ready to stop postponing meaning and start living aligned now…

This episode will meet you where you are…and call you forward.

Part 2 is where legacy becomes present tense and alignment becomes a daily practice.

A rising tide raises all ships, and I invite you along on this journey to Evoke Greatness!

Check out my website: www.evokegreatness.com

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SPEAKER_00:

There's two things that people really get wrong about legacy. One is they think it's 30 years from now. And as you just so el eloquently put, we don't know if we're making it home tonight. We don't know if we'll may waking up tomorrow. And the other piece that they get wrong is they think it's about things that they leave behind. So let me let me dispel those two myths.

SPEAKER_02:

Welcome to Evoke Greatness, the podcast for bold leaders and big dreamers who refuse to settle. I'm your host, Sonny. I started in Scrubs over 20 years ago, doing the gritty, unseen work, and climbed my way to CEO. Every rung of that ladder taught me something worth passing on. Lessons in leadership, resilience, and what it really takes to rise. You'll hear raw conversations, unfiltered truths, and the kind of wisdom that ignites something deeper in you. Your courage, your conviction, your calling. This show will help you think bigger, lead better, and show up bolder in every part of your life. This is your place to grow. Let's rise together. What if success isn't the finish line, but the moment you realize something still feels unfinished? In part two of When Success Breaks You Open, Josh Cosnick and I move past identity and faith and into the bridges most leaders avoid until it's too late: legacy, alignment, energy, and how you actually want to be remembered. This episode is about the gap between success on paper and fulfillment in real life, and the daily choices that either close the gap or widen it. If you don't want to arrive at the end of life with unresolved relationships, untapped potential, or quiet regret, this conversation is for you. Let's hop into part two. I have an up close and personal lens on that given kind of outside of the podcast and personal development side of things, I'm the CEO for a hospice company. And I've been a hospice nurse for many, many years. And that completely changed my relationship with legacy, with death, with the really important things in life, because I have stood with people or sat beside them as they're passing away. And I have seen unfinished business haunt someone to the point where they're just holding on to resolve whatever it is. And maybe it is a call from their family, like their estranged child, and they haven't talked to them in however many years. And I have also seen people who are so embracing their final days because they're like, I did it all. I lived, I loved, I had joy, I had hard times, but I left it all out on the field. Like I really lived life. And that's typically the type of death where all the family members are are there and they're it's almost like a remembrance. They're talking through all the amazing things in that person's life. And and those who have that unfinished or unresolved business, I've also seen those people who have been like in this tortured state get a phone call from that loved one, and two minutes later they take their last breath. And so to say like the importance of what that really means is many high performers are incredibly ambitious and they do sacrifice so many of the actual real parts of life to get to that next promotion or um sale or whatever it is. Like it's all tick boxes, right? And so we can there is there is a space, there's a middle space where we can accomplish really great things um from a a career perspective and have a really rich life.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, you're you're uh so first of all, I have such admiration for what you do. Um in oh gosh, it was in 2020, I had to say goodbye to my last living grandfather, or grandparent, I should say, uh, through a window. Uh, but a lovely, lovely hospice nurse uh was there by his side. And she goes, Oh gosh, I didn't think I was gonna get emotional today. Um, do you know who that is? He goes, Yeah, that's my grandson. And the next day he passed. Uh, and I'll forever hate our government for making me say our uh uh say goodbye to my last living grandparent uh through a window. Uh, but that was a special moment that hospice nurse was there um and helping with that conversation of my kids got to come to the window um and say goodbye as well. But um I was in financial planning for 20 years and uh I owned a financial firm and we dealt with uh death claims. We dealt with uh obviously the better things like retirement planning and education planning for the kids and stuff of that nature. But I delivered death claims from two, from age two to age 90. And so I have the same perspective that, or a similar perspective that you have, because we would study the regrets of the dying because we wanted to help people understand it wasn't just that we were financial planning, we're helping them live a life that was worth living and plan for that, you know, kind of uh hope for the best, plan for the worst. And my my perspective on that is like all the top five regrets, and you can probably back me up on this, they changed each year, but the nuance stayed the same. It was all things they wished they did do, not stuff they they did do and regretted.

SPEAKER_01:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

There's the action they didn't take that they regretted.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's exactly right. And and people are now writing books on death, and and there have there are a couple of books, one in particular that is I think this person has studied 1,700 people and and been with them at the time of death and talked through the process. And that's the biggest thing isn't what we did. It was what we didn't do, what we didn't make time for, what we didn't prioritize. Because none of us know. Like our time is completely unknown and our tomorrows are not promised. And so um, yeah, I'm very, I'm very passionate about that. Um, you know, especially as I um am getting older and thinking about that. But it's given my business, it's it's very present all of the time from a proximity perspective.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, very much so. You live in a day-to-day and you see it. Um, yeah, that's why I have such admiration for I I I couldn't do what you do, and I have such admiration for people that do.

SPEAKER_02:

God gives us the gifts, it's our job to use them, right?

SPEAKER_00:

That's right. That's absolutely right.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, and it so it's a perfect segue. Legacy is that final bridge in your model. How do you help lead? And we've talked maybe through some of that, but how do you help leaders redefine legacy so that it's not just about those tick boxes, it really is about who they're becoming along the way.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that it was a perfect segue because there's two things that people really get wrong about legacy. One is they think it's 30 years from now. And as you just so eloquently put, we don't know if we're making it home tonight. We don't know if we're maybe waking up tomorrow. And the other piece that they get wrong is they think it's about things that they leave behind. So let me let me dispel those two myths. When I uh was terminated and they had to buy me out a month, uh, well, a couple weeks later, they shipped all my boxes to me. So it's kind of ironic that I owned uh a lease, an office lease of 35,000 square feet, and they wouldn't let me step foot into it. Uh so they they had a moving company send me my boxes, and uh I couldn't open them for like a month. Like it was just too, too hard. So I finally get the courage to go downstairs and open these boxes. And I have this huge epiphany. None of it mattered. It was all just stuff. You know, my accreditations, my awards, all the different stuff that, you know, made me seem or or look important. It was just stuff that was gonna, if I had died that day, my wife was gonna have to, you know, toss it, store it, whatever. You you can't take it with you. And so legacy is really not what you leave behind, but rather what you leave in others and how they're gonna remember you. And it's not 30 years from now that someday you're gonna magically wake up and go, oh, now I've left a legacy. No, you're leaving it every single day. You're blessed to wake up in every interaction you have with another human, every action you take or every action you don't take. So you are building and leaving your legacy today, but you got to be more intentional about how you want to leave it. So I typically, as I work with uh entrepreneurs, high achievers, we'll go through an echo exercise that's actually very difficult, but I have them write their own eulogy.

SPEAKER_02:

Wow.

SPEAKER_00:

And it's incredibly emotional and impactful. But I have them write their eulogy and I start with bullet points. Hey, what do you want to have said about you? And then what we do is back into today. And I go, hey, if if you know, God forbid, you die today. Is that gonna be said? Or is something else gonna be said? Because if there's a gap, let's start closing that gap. What do we need to start doing to close that gap?

SPEAKER_02:

That has got to be a emotionally challenging exercise to go through. But I imagine there's also like some incredible light bulbs that go on during that process.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. It's it's incredible. It is, there's tears almost every time. Because again, we don't get the opportunity to necessarily think about unless you're diagnosed with cancer and you have this runway to think about and embrace death. Like sometimes people die in a car accident, sometimes people drop dead of a heart attack. And then you don't get the chance to even think about what you want to do. Now, so imagine that you are perfectly healthy as we sit here today. You have the opportunity to live into your legacy and see if there's a gap and go, okay, how do I close that? How do I start acting and interacting with people? What do I want my legacy to be? What do I want to be remembered by? How do I want people to speak about me when I'm no longer here? What imprint or fingerprint do I want to leave on this earth?

SPEAKER_02:

And so reflective, because I imagine it's clearly not a one-day process, right? They don't just come to all of these conclusions. It is really about like some deep reflection and self-awareness around where they are, because typically there's always going to be a gap between where we are and where we want to be. And so intentionally working on closing that gap. Um Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And if you think about doing it on a daily basis, okay. So one of my things that I repeat every time I make a transition between meetings is just a little mantra, but it's a reminder is hey, be the best hour of their day. So if I'm going into a coaching meeting, if I'm going on a podcast, if I'm running a mastermind, if I'm just having an intro introductory meeting, be the best hour of their day. And that just gets me in the right mindset that I'm trying to leave an impact on that person or those people that I'm in front of at that given time. The moment I walk in the door, though I have a good friend and I put it in the book as well because it's it's so it's such a beautiful reminder. He has a sign in his garage that's right before, right next to his door as he walks in and he and it says, Your most important job starts now. That's just a visual reminder that he can see and read the moment he walks in the door and go, Okay, dad mode.

SPEAKER_02:

Yep. Yep. You say good and great are enemies of possible. What does that mean in real daily life for an executive or an entrepreneur?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Yeah, I say that a lot. Uh I had this epiphany about 15 years ago. I was an athlete. I played college football. I played every sport growing up, including individual sports like swimming. And in swimming, there's PRs, right? Personal records. Um, so you could win, you could uh finish last and have a PR. You could win and have a PR. The point of a PR, though, is like, did you, you know, are you continually getting better? And did you leave it all out on the field or in the pool? Um, so how often in our lives have we said, good enough? Probably a lot for most people.

SPEAKER_02:

Far too many.

SPEAKER_00:

But that wasn't a great job. And how often then, if we take it to great, did we do a great job, but we knew internally that we could have given it some more? Right. And that's why I say, like, okay, good and great are the enemies of possible, because I, like you mentioned earlier, those those handful of people that you've experienced that are dying with such great joy because they left it all out on the field. I use that same analogy. I just say, okay, if we have an orange and we're making a fresh squeeze orange glass orange juice glass, I want to squeeze every dropout. And that's how I look at life is I want to, I've actually, I so I put work-life integration or harmony in my book because balance indicates that 50-50. So I really don't like it. Not that, not that I don't like the terminology. I just that in people's heads they think 50-50. And that's why I say I don't think it exists. But now I've even evolved my thought process more to maximization because I don't want to just have integration or harmony. I want to maximize my time with my kids. I want to maximize the love between my spouse. I want to maximize how much talent is within me and embrace that to achieve massive goals and impact the world. So I'm more on this like maximization tip and how do I integrate and maximize each given moment that I have in any given day?

SPEAKER_02:

Your life quotient approach gives leaders a measurable way to assess alignment. And I think a lot of this kind of goes back to that legacy piece or that bigger why piece. What's a tool or a prompt or an exercise that somebody could hear today and implement tonight?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, the life quotient tool, let me explain that real briefly for everyone because it's free. You can go to my website and uh literally just take the tool, the average person, it takes six to seven minutes. So it's not a long duration of time that you're going to spend doing it. But the five bridges that we talked about already, you're going to get an individual score for each of the five bridges, and then you'll get a totality score. So it'll break down and give you feedback on where you need to close the gap. So I think that there may be a great tool, that may be a great tool for them in and of itself. And I made it free because I want people to take it at least annually to see are you progressing in those five important bridges in life? And continue to ask, like, which questions are you kind of failing on or, you know, push into the back of the bus because you don't want to face it. But eventually you're going to have to face it. We were very intentional about the questions we asked. We started with like 150 and we narrowed it down to 84. And again, it only takes six to seven minutes because it's a one-to-five scale. Just be honest with yourself so you know exactly where to close the gap. And then my my advice would be whatever your most important bridge that you deem most important, or your lowest score, and maybe they line up, start to take one action step towards closing the gap on that bridge.

SPEAKER_02:

Excellent. I'll I'll put a link in the show notes too for people, but it take the five minutes, right? We spend how many minutes a day doom scrolling, or how many minutes a day doing useless things. Take six minutes and step into kind of your ideal self. Start start closing that gap. This is a great tool to be able to do so.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. I'll give, I'll give one other that I um I use often, and it's just a 30,000 foot view over your calendar. You said you had a calendar for the next three months that are that's personal and work. I always state this to people, whether it's three months, 12 months, however you want to do it, uh, put your want-tos in your calendar before your have-tos. Because high achievers, we know that we will get our have-tos done no matter what. We're high achievers. That's what we do. So if you don't put your want-tos in first, your have-tos are going to bleed into your want-tos. So your kids' sporting events, my three girls are in competitive dance, those are already on my calendar. Those competitions are on my calendar for next year. Spring breaks on my calendar next year. Any of my son's sporting stuff is on my calendar, date night with spouse, workouts, uh, whatever, whatever your want-tos are, make sure they're in your calendar and then build your have-tos around them. That's an easy hack for your calendar.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. And sometimes it's not what you want to see, it's not what you hope to see, but it doesn't lie. Um, and and we can put those want-tos in after the fact, but they'll always get squeezed out, to your point. So I love that. That's an excellent tip. Many of my listeners are high-achieving women who are exhausted, who are who have been climbing the ladder. And uh I'm curious when you think about the top warning signs for people who have a sort of internal fragmentation. What are those top signs that you look at and what can they do to shift, to start reversing that?

SPEAKER_00:

Oh man, energy. Uh, and and uh I'll be careful too, because some of these women may have young children. So uh it's interesting. Like uh when back in 2016, I got my hormone levels tested, and my doctor looks at me and you know, is like your testosterone's really low. Like, how's your um how I was like, well, that's weird. My sex drives fine. I just made the joke. And he goes, Yeah, yeah, yeah, but how's your energy? I was like, Well, doc, I got three young kids. I don't know that it's supposed to be great. And he goes, No, but after the dug down and bottom line is uh my energy was off. But what I noticed, regardless if your hormones are off or not, which I do recommend getting that tested, because a lot of times that can be a driver and and and uh we just need to get checked under the under the hood, uh, because everything externally may look and feel fine, but internally you're you're kind of messed up. But I think energy is such a big thing. So I have this time energy audit that I do, uh, which you is kind of talked about with auditing your calendar. But what I do with that is, okay, for high achieving women or men, it's like, was this revenue producing or a good like in your top five priorities of time? Yes. Okay. Was it a positive energy? Was it a neutral energy or a negative energy after you got out of that task or meeting? Because if it's a negative and it's drawing away from you, is there someone you could delegate it to? So that's that's one tool to potentially go through. But I also want to say is like, I want to go back to bridge two. Is there something emotionally? Is there something mentally taxing, or is there something physically you're not doing to take care of yourself? Because women have such a uh business women that are in the workforce have such, and especially if they're mothers uh at the same time, a lot of like pressures and uh faulty societal, I'm trying to think of the right words, like faulty societal pressures.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And so I think uh like I'll use the example because even my wife was looking to go to law school and we just had a great kind and she sat for the L sets and everything. And I was already building my financial advising career and we're making plenty of money. So I'm like, is this a deep passion of yours? Because I will support you either way. But if you were thinking about because she was a few years younger than me, I was like, but if you were gonna go to law school because of the money, I was like, money's not gonna be the issue. So what do we want for family? What do we want for goals in that regard? And and again, I'm it was her decision, but I was gonna support her either way, but I didn't want it to be about money. And so I think also having familial conversations with your spouse as well, and like where they can support you, um, how you can get back energy. Like, so for example, if your physical health has fallen off, and your spouse, like you can go to your spouse and say, Hey, I need an hour after work just to go get a workout in, come home refreshed, and be the mom and wife that that I really want to be for you guys. Like that should be a conversation at the table. Um, auditing what you need. Um, and I'll give one last example and then I'll shut up. But um during COVID, when I had those 250 employees, from nine, from eight to five, I was doing my normal work calls. They're all Zoom at that point. But then from five to nine, I was playing part-time psychologist uh for those 250 people because everyone was really mentally going stir crazy. I don't have any training for that, but I was just trying to be there and care for my people. So about three weeks into that shutdown was my coming up was my birthday weekend. I'm out on my uh back patio smoking a cigar, and my wife comes to me uh because she's amazing, and she looks at me and goes, What do you need? Like you aren't you are not yourself. What do you need? And it took me a minute to think about it, and I said, I need a weekend away. And at first she was offended because it didn't have to do with her or the kids. So I will say that. But she came around because I explained it a little further. I was like, I need to not be needed. I need to not be needed. But I had to come to that, like, what did I, because I didn't know what I needed, and no one had ever asked me what did I need. And so just having a loving spouse and having these open dialogues and you understanding what you truly need so that you can have some more peace and harmony in your life is is a big win.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, and to make that distinction while leading through a world crisis, right? That's not a small thing. And and so I I I completely understand what you mean by that, but it is, you have to get, you've got to look yourself in the mirror. And that's sometimes a hard thing to do, to say, what is it that I need? Because our first inclination is not the right answer.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah. Yeah. So there's this uh hack I teach a lot of my business owners, and this may apply to your women as well, but I call it a clarity break. And it comes from the EOS world, but I actually did it before I even knew EOS, which was entrepreneurial operating service or uh uh system, I should say, for those that don't know the acronym. But clarity breaks, it's taking an hour per week, no phone, no computer, just and it can't be in the office and it can't be in your home. Go find a park bench, a coffee shop, wherever your happy spot is, and just take a pen and paper, work through any uh like recurring emotion, any recurring thoughts, do some vision planning, like tap in like once a week, just give yourself that hour to really get clear on what we're talking about, on like what you actually need.

SPEAKER_02:

Beautiful exercise. And just even even if you can't take that immediately to a big process, you can you can take a walk around your neighborhood, right? Like you can, there are little things you can do. I found myself, I was in at my corporate office this week in Nashville. And I, number one, I've got a deep relationship with the Lord. And number two, I feel him most in nature. I was just, I I love to walk when I'm out there. And so I make sure I make a point to get up early to go get my walk in. And there were all of these fall cut, like the trees were colors that are just like indescribable. And when you can find that place, maybe it's nature, maybe it's not, right? Maybe it's whatever, maybe it's uh uh going to a gym, maybe whatever it is. Everybody has their thing. Go find and be present in that moment. I found myself so full. My cup was so full because I took 45 minutes to go to a couple of miles that is literally I go like three laps around this neighborhood. And every single time I was like, thank you, God, that I have eyes to see this beauty. Like, thank you for my mobility. When you can immerse yourself in a place that fills your cup, whatever that place is, and be so present, like soak that up because again, like that too. Do you think that I went into the office after doing that and had a terrible day? Of course not. Like my brain was reset and my cup was filled. And so I I highly encourage people to do that, to find the thing, even if it's just you starting to explore what your thing is, where you would find joy or find that time where you can have some uh or start working on some mental clarity.

SPEAKER_00:

Now, gratitude is what you were filled with, and gratitude is known to rewire the brain.

SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely, absolutely. Uh, I have I started a gratitude practice probably 13 years ago when I when I found personal development and I was like, hey, this is kind of cool. And and they said, do a gratitude journal and write three things every morning that you're thankful for. And I was like, great. Um, I'm thankful for my health. I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful for my job. And like each day for the first week, it was so awkward because you don't really understand what gratitude is until you look beyond like the things. And and so it was like got really uncomfortable. After about a week, I was like, what am I really, what am I grateful? Like into my bones, what am I grateful for? And again, it's what resonates with me is I find the Holy Spirit out in nature. And so, like, oh man, I was grateful for the colors changing in the trees and the and the way that the wind moved the leaves around. And I got to hear that this morning. I think that shift from trying to figure out what gratitude really is to like immersing yourself in it is a beautiful journey.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_02:

Well, as we wrap up, there is a question that I always like to ask people, and and I'm really excited to hear your answer. But if it were your last day on earth and of all the things that you've learned, all the advice you've given, the guidance you've received, the wisdom, and you could only impart one piece of guidance or wisdom with the world out to the world, what would that be?

SPEAKER_00:

You're right. That's hard to pick just one. Uh, but the one coming to my heart is Jesus is real, he loves you. And he put a very, very unique gift and special purpose inside of your heart. And all he asks is for you to love him back and for you to use that purpose to serve the world.

SPEAKER_02:

Amen to that. Mic drop. Well, Josh, I would love for you to share. I'll put all this in the show notes, but I would love for you to share where can people find you and follow you, learn more about what you do. Where can they grab the book?

SPEAKER_00:

Uh, Amazon's or Barnes and Noble. It's sold pretty much anywhere, but those are the easiest spots, obviously, that they can get dropped right to your doorstep. My website, joshcosnick.com. I found that I have not met another Josh Kosnick, so I have really good SEO. And uh, so uh at Josh Kosnick on all social media platforms, uh, feel free to hit me up. What was the biggest takeaway today? I'd love to hear from you.

SPEAKER_02:

Excellent. Well, thank you for uh for showing up so much in a way where you're here to serve. Like through your journey and through your lived experience, you're now serving others. And so I appreciate what you're doing and I appreciate the opportunity to be able to share some of your story.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, thank you so much for having me on.

SPEAKER_02:

If today's episode challenged you, moved you, or lit a fire in your soul, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with somebody who's ready to rise. Can I ask you to take 30 seconds to leave a review? It's the best way to say thank you and help this show reach more bold leaders like you. Because this isn't just a podcast, it's a movement. We're not here to play small. We're here to lead loud, one bold and unapologetic step at a time. Until next time, stay bold, stay grounded, and make moves that make mediocre uncomfortable.

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Sonnie Linebarger

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