Evoke Greatness Podcast

When Success Breaks You Open with Josh Kosnick (Pt. 1)

• Sonnie Linebarger • Episode 194

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🎧 Episode 194: When Success Breaks You Open: Josh Kosnick on Identity, Faith, and Rebuilding from the Inside Out

What happens when everything you’ve worked for disappears… and you’re forced to confront who you are without the title?

In Part 1 of this powerful conversation, Sonnie Linebarger sits down with leadership coach, speaker, and author Josh Kosnick to unpack the season that changed everything. After building and leading a multi-billion-dollar financial firm, Josh experienced an unexpected and painful exit that dismantled the identity he had built around achievement, ownership, and success.

What followed was grief… a loss of identity… and ultimately, a deep internal reckoning that led to the creation of The Kairos Code and his transformational Five Bridges Framework.

In this episode, Josh vulnerably shares:

  • What it feels like to lose a business that once defined you
  • Why grief shows up after both “good” and “bad” exits
  • The identity he had to dismantle when success was stripped away
  • Why spirituality must come before performance
  • How misaligned success leads to burnout, broken relationships, and regret
  • Why most leaders skip the inner work and rush to external fixes
  • How faith, identity, and purpose form the foundation for sustainable leadership

This conversation is for the leader who looks successful on paper but feels restless, tired, or disconnected inside. It’s for the achiever who senses there has to be more than grinding, producing, and providing… and is ready to rebuild from the inside out.

✨ If you’ve ever tied your worth to your role…

 âś¨ If you’ve experienced loss, transition, or identity confusion…

 âś¨ If you’re craving success that doesn’t cost you your health, faith, or family…

This episode will meet you right where you are.

🎧 Part 2 dives deeper into the remaining bridges, relationships, environment, and legacy… so be sure to subscribe and stay tuned.

A rising tide raises all ships, and I invite you along on this journey to Evoke Greatness!

Check out my website: www.evokegreatness.com

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SPEAKER_00:

I thought I lost everything, but in reality I didn't. Because my identity was wrapped in my title, the ownership of that firm, money, accolades, all the wrong things. And so the identity I had to shed was that my identity wasn't my title. My identity wasn't my role. My identity wasn't found in things. And that's really what led to creating the Five Bridges Framework because I realized I screwed it all up.

SPEAKER_01:

Welcome to Evoke Greatness, the podcast for bold leaders and big dreamers who refuse to settle. I'm your host, Sonny. I started in Scrubs over 20 years ago, doing the gritty, unseen work and climbed my way to CEO. Every rung of that ladder taught me something worth passing on. Lessons in leadership, resilience, and what it really takes to rise. You'll hear raw conversations, unfiltered truths, and the kind of wisdom that ignites something deeper in you. Your courage, your conviction, your calling. This show will help you think bigger, lead better, and show up bolder in every part of your life. This is your place to grow. Let's rise together. What happens when the life you built disappears overnight? In part one of this powerful conversation, leadership coach and author Josh Cosnick shares the moment his outward success collapsed and forced him to confront who he was without the title, the accolades, or the business that wants to find him. This isn't a highlight reel. It's a raw conversation about grief, identity, faith, and the internal reckoning that happens when achievement no longer brings peace. You'll hear how losing everything became the doorway to clarity, why success without alignment is unsustainable, and how rebuilding from the inside out led to a framework now helping leaders create lives that feel as good as they look. If you've ever felt like you're winning on paper but struggling on the inside, part one is where the real story begins. Welcome back to another episode of Evote Greatness. Today's guest is someone who doesn't just talk about transformation, he's lived it. Josh Kosnick is a leadership coach, speaker, and author whose book, The Kairos Code, unpacks what happens when outward success outpaces inner alignment. After building and exiting multiple businesses, he hit a point where achievement wasn't enough. And rebuilding from the inside led him to create the five bid to create the five bridges framework that's now guiding leaders to purpose, presence, and real peace. Josh helps high performers redefine success by integrating spirituality, relationships, environment, and legacy so they can build lives that feel as good as they look. So if you've ever felt like you're winning on paper, but tired on the inside, friend, this conversation is for you. Josh, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00:

So glad to be here. And uh anytime I stumble through an intro, I just play it off. Like it is what it is. We're human.

SPEAKER_01:

That's the beauty of it is number one, you can edit out everything. But number two is like the whole idea is that it's an organic conversation and sometimes we trip up, right?

SPEAKER_00:

That's right. We're human. That's exactly right. I'm excited for this conversation today.

SPEAKER_01:

Likewise. Well, you coach leaders through deeply personal transformation work, but every framework starts with some sort of live story or lived experience personally. I'm curious what was the moment or season in your own life that kind of set you on this path to this work, but ultimately led to the Kairos Code.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so it's actually interesting. I've been coaching and leading for a long time, but I did it within my own organization. So I uh owned a very large financial firm, had 250 employees, and uh about we were managing$4 billion of assets. And so it was a big job. And my role in that firm was to recruit and develop uh highly productive people. And so the coaching or mentoring and leading has not been foreign to me. But in 2021, we just get through COVID. The group, the firm grew by 30% through COVID, and that was a big uncertainty because we went from this face-to-face, uh like 99% of our meetings were face-to-face, across the desk, across the kitchen table. Boom, overnight, we're on the digital world. And so we had to get everyone equipped. I was fearful, everyone was fearful, but my job was to stay calm. And lo and behold, we were up 30% that year, and it made us more efficient. That was a blessing that came out of this. We didn't, we live in Wisconsin, so we didn't have to worry about snow people getting to meetings or whatever it may be. The Zoom world actually made us more efficient. But fast forward to summer of 2021, my the rug was pulled out from underneath me. Uh, I was terminated. They had to buy me out, and I'm making this story really short. But uh the point is that my whole world got turned upside down. My plan was from age 35 to 55 to run that firm, grow it as big as possible, have as much impact as possible. And God said, just kidding, we got different plans for you. And uh I can talk about this unemotionally now because I'm four years removed, but I just want to say that like I was in the pits of my despair, like the bottom. And uh I was going through it. I I equate a loss of business like that to a loss of a loved one. I was going through the five stages of grief. And and I've had this experience now as I coach high, high achieving entrepreneurs and people that have sold their business. It actually doesn't matter if it's a happy sale or a sad sale like mine. When that purpose and that that business that is like a child to you gets ripped away or sold or whatever it may be, you go through this uh loss of identity, stages of grief, all different sorts of emotions. And and I was having all of them. And so I'm in this legal battle, negotiating my exit and uh going through uh a whirlwind of emotions. But as I came out of that, uh got through the acceptance stage of grief, I started to be able to dream a little bit more. And I'm getting recruited by everyone in the industry at this point because I'm a young, hot commodity. And every time I took a meeting, I just didn't feel right. Something didn't feel right in my stomach. And I had to pray and seek God's guidance on this because I'm like, what's going on? Like, this is everything I've known for the last 20 years. I'm great at this. Like, it should be a natural fit. And uh God was telling me that I've accomplished everything I set out to in that industry. It's time to do something different. All right, God, what is that? So I did this uh really fancy t chart. And by fancy, I mean the most simplistic thing possible. Some might call it a pros-cons list. I I just uh uh framed it a little bit differently. On the left side of the paper, I put what did I love about my previous role, my previous world? And on the right side, I put, what did I really dislike? And so I made those lists. And then at the end, I've asked myself a really important question. What if I could design a world that I only did the left side, the stuff that I loved and I was great at, and eliminated or at the very least mitigated uh the right side. And so that's what led me to coaching and speaking and eventually uh writing this book and creating the five bridges framework.

SPEAKER_01:

The first thing that I thought of as you were explaining that was grief, because that is that is real, right? Whether it is a job, a career, there truly is a sort of loss there. And you have to kind of peel back some of those layers. You well, you have to recognize that you're even in the grieving process first, right? And then go through the different stages of that. And and then you also talk about God's plan for you. And I always go back to that quote whenever I have big plans and I wanna I consider myself uh a control enthusiast. And so I like to have control of all of the things. And so I'm often reminded of the quote, man plans, God laughs.

SPEAKER_00:

That's right.

SPEAKER_01:

Because we can plan all day long, but we're not the ones in the driver's seat. And if we think we are, we're fooling ourselves even more so.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I actually put a uh variation of that quote in my book because it's so true.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm curious though, as you think about going through that process, what belief or identity did you have to dismantle or let go of? I think about it like a like shedding, right? And when we grow into a new level, what sometimes we don't recognize is a fact that we have to let some things die. We have to let some things shed off to step into the new. And so I'm curious when you think about like a belief or an identity, what what was something that you that you dismantled through this process?

SPEAKER_00:

So I thought I lost everything. But in reality I didn't. Because my my identity was wrapped in my title, the ownership of that firm, money, accolades, all the wrong things. When that was all stripped away, my kids still loved me, my wife still loved me, I still had my relationship with God, I still had my health. Like the things that mattered most, I still had. And so the identity I had to shed was that my identity wasn't my title. My identity wasn't my role, my identity wasn't found in things. And that's really what led to creating the Five Bridges Framework because I realized I screwed it all up.

SPEAKER_01:

The recognition of that, I think, is the P, that's where the work starts. Um, in your Five Bridges framework, why do you why do you feel like it was so important to start with the spiritual bridge? Just like another add to that. How do you define spirituality for high performers who may not consider themselves, and I've been doing air quotes for those who are only listening, but for those who don't consider themselves spiritual, how do you help build this in?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I'm very aware that not everyone may, they may not believe what I believe. However, what I am very keenly aware of is like everyone has been to a funeral or a visitation or a wake, and we've noticed that the body is present and the spirit is gone. So we have to know at our core that we do have a spirit, we have some sort of spirituality. Now, whether or not you believe in Jesus like I do, or you find some other spiritual source, that's your journey. Uh, that being said, getting right with why do I exist is a very important question. What, what, like I'm here at this very specific moment in human history. Why? And so I think coming to that because so many people walk around without kind of devoid of purpose, or they're searching for the purpose, not realizing that they themselves are purpose. Like you are uniquely created, you are uniquely gifted. Uh, you have specific and unique gifts inside of everyone. And I can tell you that every single one of us is unique, and I can prove that without using God, because every single one of us has a unique set of fingerprints. There's 8 billion people on this planet. Only you have these sets of fingerprints, and that's how the FBI can track us if we do something stupid. So it's in and of itself, just right there, you are unique. Now, what is your unique purpose here on this planet? Find that first. Now, how do you use that to serve the world? So, for me, my spiritual source is Jesus, but uh, and I don't ever push that on people. I want people to be curious about my life and ask questions. And if that leads them to Jesus, that's a huge blessing. However, I do want to like, I've found myself in this position where I've been able to create space for people of all walks of life. And uh that doesn't, I've been able to stand firm in my faith while creating space for others. But the bottom line of the spiritual bridge is if we're not right spiritually, if we don't have this recognition of who we are and whose we are, it kind of just screws everything else up. It doesn't flow. The rest of life doesn't flow because you're just kind of aimlessly floating through.

SPEAKER_01:

Couldn't agree more. I almost see it as again, I am a believer as well. And and that is my foundation. I mean, that is what everything else is built upon. And so uh, whatever that is for anyone, you have to have that foundation, or else you're gonna build a life, uh a career on shaky ground. And that doesn't serve anyone.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. It's a house of cards. And that's again, well, I I wasn't I was a believer. I was starting on my journey to being a great follower, but my identity was still trapped in earthly things. And when those were stripped away, that's where I had the tough realization that okay, I placed this in the wrong, in the wrong spot. So I got to get back to center. And that's where the spiritual bridge was really foundational to be number one.

SPEAKER_01:

And then the internal bridge focuses on body, mind, and emotions. For leaders constantly pushing through in this world that's so busy, and our attention is being pulled every possible direction, except sometimes for the purposeful direction. What shifts people to move from being driven to being at a place of sustainability?

SPEAKER_00:

Unfortunately, it's usually a health instance or they have some sort of crisis. And my goal is to help people put their oxygen mask on first so that they can be the best for others. Uh, so, and that that comes with being mentally, emotionally, and physically strong. So we've all been in an airplane and gotten that instruction. If we're in a case of emergency, oxygen masks are going to drop, put yours on before assisting others. We've all heard that. But how much do we apply it into our real life? Because it's so true as we go through. Like, I cannot be my best self for this podcast, for you, or to serve my wife and kids when I get home tonight if I'm not my at my best. And so I have to keep myself mentally strong and focused. I have to uh continue to work through emotions. And this is that's a really important one for us men. A lot of times we like to bury it and we don't talk about it with anyone. Uh, and I work with a lot of men to overcome that. And then physically strong as well, keeping my body at optimum performance so that I have the energy to go after the big goals, the big dreams. So, too often we're saying, I don't have time for that because I got this, this, and this. I got 200 employees I got to care for. I got this, I got a family, I got a business. So if I don't do this, it's all gonna fall apart. And these are the lies that we tell ourselves. And I'm telling you, it's gonna fall apart with your health before your business falls apart because I've seen it too many times. And then what you do to cope is you go home and drink, or you go home and another uh uh bad application from gambling or pornography or any other coping mechanism that where you're not working through emotions or you're not working with a healthy mind, body, and spirit.

SPEAKER_01:

And I want to pull the thread a little bit on when you talk about men and emotions. We have shifted from a place of men have, you know, what men wear the mask, right? Of what, of how they feel like they were supposed to be, um, stoic, not having softer emotions, not being able to display those historically. And I think we're moving more into a time when men can feel like they can be in touch and open and vulnerable with their feelings. But for those who are still like stuck on that cusp, how would you help people look at their emotions a little bit different, specifically men, to help them get to a healthier place?

SPEAKER_00:

I think first comes awareness, right? We talk about, uh, you talked about it earlier. I like to ask people, okay, you you have typically avoided conflict. Let's just use that as an example. Let's say man sitting in front of me, you've avoided conflict in your life. How has that served you? Just ask the question, because sometimes it has served them actually kind of well. Like it's actually worked. Like, let's say they grew up in uh an abusive with an abusive father, and they knew if they they step forward that they may get beat. Okay, well, that actually worked back then. How is that serving your life today? You're not in that situation anymore. I get how it served you then. How is it serving you today? And most of the time the answer is like, well, it's really not necessary. Or, um, you know, a lot of times I I bury the emotion so much, I sweep it under the rug, and then one day I blow up.

unknown:

Right.

SPEAKER_00:

And who do you blow up on? Oh, the people that you care about most. So how's that working? Right? And it's and we get to a point where it's not. They say they admit that it's not. Okay, if it's not serving your present, we get we get the fact that it served your past, but it's not serving your present. How do you think it's gonna serve your future and the person or man that you want to be?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it's a oftentimes a protective mechanism, right? Uh from trauma, um, from others, others' perceptions or beliefs. And it's this protective mechanism so that we don't get hurt. And but I love that you're talking about that because I do think we need to be talking about that more. There's been more and more books that are coming out around uh men getting more just honest and open with their emotions. And I think that's that doesn't just serve them, that serves every relationship they're in, that serves the role that they may be in their career. Um, it really does impact and have a ripple in every area of their life.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, one other thing on that, and I grew up in a house that was just like that, not abusive, but in the fact where my dad was like, rub dirt on it, don't cry, you know, you're be tough. Like I got all of those messages. And I know, you know, got very few I love you's, very few affirmations. I could count on one hand how many times he told me he loved me by the time I was 18. He's much better at it now. Um, he's got turned into a marshmallow with grandkids. But growing up, that wasn't the case. But each of us men and women for that matter, but we all have a choice. We we see what we were raised with, and I truly believe most parents do the very best with what they knew how. I was up hunting with my dad once and I confronted him on it. And uh we just had a good conversation. He goes, but where do you think I got it from? I was like, Well, probably grandpa. And he's like, Yeah. I was like, but you were smart enough to change. But this is this is the choice that we all have as men and women as we become adults and become parents, is however you were raised, you then have the choice to go, am I gonna raise my kids like that, or am I gonna be the one to change and break this generational curse? So my brothers and I all changed, and all of us happen to have girls as well. So we, I don't know if that was part of it, but like we all forced to change. And like we tell our kids, I love you every single day. Uh, we affirm them. We still raise them to be tough and kind and all those great values, but we're breaking the generational curse of not saying I love you and not verbalizing our feelings.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, that's huge. That's huge. You emphasize that relationships often erode quietly for high achievers. Which relationship do you see most commonly neglected? And what's a practical way of being intentional to recognize it and then starting to rebuild it?

SPEAKER_00:

Your spouse. Simple answer. It's your spouse. And uh it's it's amazing, right? I I just wish like part of my epiphany in this as well, because I'm not I'm not perfect, will never claim to be perfect. I've definitely screwed up more than I've probably gotten right. But what I've always wondered is like we spend so much effort, time, energy in pursuing our spouse. And if we just gave a fraction of that to continuing to pursue her throughout our relationship, entrepreneurs, high achievers, what we do is tend to go work really hard under the guise of being the provider. And that's the lie that we tell ourselves. And yes, we are the providers, but at the same time, what I realized when everything was taken taken away from me is like my wife wasn't, my kids weren't. And thank God, because I wouldn't be here sitting in front of you if they weren't there. That's how dark my my mindset was at that time. And so I just sit there and look at the what we can do is actively think about how do we pursue our spouse the way we did when we were courting her? How do we continue to keep a focus on fostering that relationship, growing with God and towards God together, and actually plotting out date nights, plotting out time or effort to actually show them that we care about them more than we do our business. And just a conscious effort or thought around that uh will take you so far. But that it's very hard. Well, what you got to realize, entrepreneur or high achiever, is it's very hard to be married to you. It's very hard. Like I know it. Like, thank God my wife grew up in a house of entrepreneurs and a family of entrepreneurs because I'm very hard to be married to. My mind's always going. Like, especially when I lay down at night. I don't know about anyone else, but that's when all the thoughts just start going. I'm like, dang it, why didn't I have these great thoughts earlier today? I'm trying to sleep. Um, so like our minds are always going. Uh, we're we're constantly thinking and evolving. And uh, you know, your spouse may sit there and go, why can't you just be satisfied? Like, we're a little bit crazy. Like, we got to recognize that. So, like, like what a blessing this person is that chose to marry us in our crazy, crazy ways, and that have stuck by our side. Like, how about we put a little bit of effort into fostering that relationship so they stay by our side till we die?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I I was curious where you were gonna go with that because that that was the first inclination. And I say that as a high achiever on the female side of being the breadwinner and still it, I think gender doesn't matter, right? It's when you kind of take on this role. And and I there's many a times I'm like, oh gosh, especially early on when I was ridiculously ambitious and wanted to climb and wanted to go and wanted to grow. And my husband gave me the space to be able to do that. But I made a lot of mistakes in in the time of I I like to think about like work-life balance is a fluid process, right? You it's never 50-50, it's never 75-25. But sometimes you you lean, right? So if something is going on from a life perspective, you may have to lean a little bit. And I equate it to those um, probably dating myself, those toys. I remember when I was little, it's like an oil and water toy, and you turn it side to side and it kind of shifts. And that's how I think about work-life balance is like, okay, sometimes I'm gonna have to like shift a little bit heavier here. Sometimes I'm gonna have to shift a little heavier into my into my job. And there were a lot of years, not just days, not just months, but probably a lot of years where I leaned way too heavy on the work side and I neglected a lot of things from a family perspective. I appreciate that I am still married and I have an amazing husband who supports me. But it's like we had to get really honest about those times when I made a decision to lean really heavily into that. So I completely resonate with what you shared. And I think that's right. It doesn't matter uh what role you have, really leaning in and understanding that person, that partner of yours, whether they take the role of being the high performer or the spouse of that person. Like there's a lot of considerations both ways.

SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. And and I think you'll agree with this as well. There's no such thing as overcommunication. Like we have to communicate with our spouses, like and talk about those seasons, right? If I need to tilt towards the work a little bit more, if I got to go into a little bit of a season of travel for me with the book launch with speaking engagements and stuff of that nature, like we're going into the season. Like I made sure to get all my kids' important stuff in my calendar so I didn't book over those. But hey, I'm gonna be gone a few nights here, there, you know, to make sure that we get this thing going in the right direction. Like just having that dialogue with your spouse so that they know where you're at and understand what you're going through at the same time. Again, a lot of times I'll use because I'm a man, I can say this, like these are things that we don't necessarily share. It's like if you just shared it out front, they could be more empathetic and understanding and not thinking that, oh, you're just leaving again to get away from me.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. We we now have a three-month calendar that I map out because we also have two teenagers on top of. I travel for work periodically. And so there would be times when we wouldn't communicate well, I wouldn't communicate well, and it'd be like Sunday night and and I'm packing my bag and like, wait a second, are you leaving this week? Like, I swear I told you a couple of weeks ago. And it's like that creates a nightmare scenario. And so we like we're very intentional, but intentional about our calendar, and even our boys. It's like, did you did you guys look at the calendar? What's going on this week? So we really try to be inclusive of the whole family around that because that helps us navigate the weeks or months ahead and it keeps everybody on the same page.

SPEAKER_00:

That's awesome. Awesome advice.

SPEAKER_01:

I think most people start with external fixes when they think about like that fixing mentality, right? Changing jobs, routines, schedules. Your framework says environment comes after the inner work. Why is that order so critical?

SPEAKER_00:

Well, it's because the environment is more what I put into professional lens, financial lens, and I throw creative and joy in there as well. And the reason I do this is because most people skip to professional and financial as their uh go-to. They skip to bridge four. And it's not all their fault, uh, although at the ultimate, at the end of the day, like we have to assume extreme ownership. And we we we are the masters of our craft. That being said, when we're growing up, we're asked the question, hey, what do you want to be when you grow up? And then in high school, they go, what are you gonna go to college for? And then in college, they go, what are you gonna do with that degree? And it's all centered around the what. So it positions our mindset as to that we are what we do, and that's not who we are. So I think the more appropriate uh question to ask our children is who do you want to be when you grow up? And focus more on their their identity being more than just work. And so everyone loves to skip skip to the environment bridge and actually focus on work and money. And that's why I put those first three bridges is life is so much more. It's your spiritual life, your mental, emotional, physical health, and the relationships are the fruit of life. And so what I don't want is these high achievers that you talk to and have are listening today, and the entrepreneurs that I'm working with all the time to miss the more most important things and like sacrifice the most important things for the work. And so that's why I made sure that environment came after those most important things. And I'm careful here because I don't want people to think like, I don't want you to win big. I want you to win huge. I want to win huge still. I just don't want you to get to the end of your life and you're at your in your deathbed and you sacrificed all the people that mattered most to you. You sacrificed your health, you sacrificed your relationship with God, and now you're left there questioning it's like, okay, I'm on my deathbed. What's going to happen to me when I die? Oh, and I'm on my deathbed. I have all these regrets because I didn't build a relationship with my kids and now I don't know my grandkids. Or I'm on my third marriage, and that one, she doesn't even want to be by my side. Like, these are all the things that people in real life are going through on a day-to-day basis. And the people in my sphere, the message of my book is like, there's a better way. And you can do it all. It's just going to be in work-life integration mode, not balance like we talked about.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, this is where we hit the pause button. Make sure to check back next week for part two where we move from the why to the how as Josh takes us deeper into the remaining bridges of his five bridges framework, where leadership meets real life. We unpack what it actually looks like to protect relationships while pursuing big goals, design an environment that supports sustainability, not burnout, and build a legacy that your family feels, not just one your resume reflects. If today's episode challenged you, moved you, or lit a fire in your soul, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with somebody who's ready to rise. Could I ask you to take 30 seconds to leave a review? It's the best way to say thank you and help this show reach more bold leaders like you. Because this isn't just a podcast, it's a movement. We're not here to play small. We're here to lead loud, one bold and unapologetic step at a time. Until next time, stay bold, stay grounded, and make moves that make mediocre uncomfortable.

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