Evoke Greatness Podcast
Do you have an insatiable hunger for growth and knowledge?
Are you interested in hearing the stories of how successful people have navigated their journey towards greatness…all while stumbling through valuable lessons along the way?
My name is Sonnie and I am the host of Evoke Greatness, the weekly podcast driven by my curious nature and fascination with the champion mindset. I am a HUGE book nerd and a wee bit of a "control enthusiast" with an obsession for motivational coffee cups.
On this podcast, we share the ups and the downs, the highs and lows and all the lessons learned in between. It's my most sincere hope you hear something in one or maybe many of these episodes that resonates with you and reminds you that you’re not in this alone.
I believe that a rising tide raises all ships and I invite you along in this journey to Evoke Greatness!
Evoke Greatness Podcast
A Masterclass in Hard Conversations
🎧Ep 191: A Masterclass in Hard Conversations & Why Clarity Is Kindness
In this leadership-deepening episode of Evoke Greatness, Sonnie breaks down one of the most avoided and most essential skills in leadership: how to navigate hard conversations with courage, compassion, and clarity.
Sonnie shares why avoiding hard conversations doesn’t protect anyone… it actually deepens discomfort and robs people of the chance to grow. She takes listeners through a step-by-step framework for delivering honest feedback, redirecting defensiveness, creating psychological safety, and leading with confidence even when the moment feels uncomfortable.
You’ll learn:
- Why the “feedback sandwich” weakens trust and confuses the message
- How to open tough conversations with honesty and congruence
- What to do when someone gets defensive, minimizes, blames, or derails
- How to use silence as a powerful leadership tool
- How to create psychological safety while keeping accountability high
- How to close the conversation in a way that builds trust and clarity
🔑 Key takeaways:
- Avoiding hard conversations deepens discomfort and erodes trust
- Clarity is kindness… and ambiguity is cruelty
- The feedback sandwich confuses people and signals fear
- Silence is a strategic tool that promotes reflection and accountability
- Safety doesn’t mean comfort — it means respect
- Leaders grow courage by having the conversation, not thinking about it
- Tough conversations done well strengthen teams, trust, and leadership maturity
đź’¬ Quotes to remember:
“Avoiding hard conversations is actually unkind.”
“Clarity is kindness. Ambiguity is cruelty.”
“Defensiveness isn’t disrespect — it’s protection.”
“Hard conversations don’t get easier… you get stronger.”
🚀 If you’re a leader craving clarity, courage, and the ability to have conversations that actually transform performance, this episode gives you the roadmap.
Listener Challenge:
Think of the one conversation you’ve been avoiding...the one that knots your stomach, the one you keep pushing off.
Have that conversation within the next 24 hours.
Then go to EvokeGreatness.com → Contact Me → Orange Button and leave a voicemail (anonymous or named). Sonnie wants to hear:
- What conversation you had
- How it went
- What shifted afterward
Your courage builds the movement.
A rising tide raises all ships, and I invite you along on this journey to Evoke Greatness!
Check out my website: www.evokegreatness.com
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http://www.youtube.com/@evokegreatness
What we don't always realize is that avoidance doesn't just delay discomfort, actually deepens it. And even more importantly, avoiding hard conversations is actually unkind. Because when you choose silence or sugarcoating or the infamous feedback sandwich, you're not protecting the other person's feelings. You're protecting your own. And in doing so, you rob someone of the opportunity to grow. Welcome to Evoke Greatness, the podcast for bold leaders and big dreamers who refuse to settle. I'm your host, Sonny. I started in Scrubs over 20 years ago doing the gritty, unseen work and climbed my way to CEO. Every rung of that ladder taught me something worth passing on. Lessons in leadership, resilience, and what it really takes to rise. You'll hear raw conversations, unfiltered truths, and the kind of wisdom that ignites something deeper in you. Your courage, your conviction, your calling. This show will help you think bigger, lead better, and show up bolder in every part of your life. This is your place to grow. Let's rise together. The hard conversation. The one you rehearse in your head 10 different ways, the one you keep pushing to next week, the one you know is necessary, but wish it wasn't. Every leader has that conversation. And most leaders avoid it much longer than they should. What we don't always realize is that avoidance doesn't just delay discomfort, actually deepens it. And even more importantly, avoiding hard conversations is actually unkind. Because when you choose silence or sugarcoating or the infamous feedback sandwich, you're not protecting the other person's feelings. You're protecting your own. And in doing so, you rob someone of the opportunity to grow, to shift their behavior, and to rise into the next level of who they are capable of becoming. This episode is a masterclass truly in how to navigate these conversations with courage, compassion, and clarity. By the time we're done, you will know how to open a tough conversation with honesty and congruence, how to frame feedback using clarity and compassion, what to do when someone becomes defensive or derails, how to use silence as a leadership tool, how to create psychological safety without lowering accountability, and how to close the conversation in a way that strengthens performance and preserves dignity. So if you want to lead at a high level, if you want to build teams rooted in trust, growth, and honesty, these skills are non-negotiable. So let's dive in. Part one, why the feedback sandwich fails. Let's start by clearing the biggest misconception in leadership development. The feedback sandwich. You know the formula. Say something nice, slip in the hard truth, and then cover it with another compliment. Here's why this fails and actually harms performance in the process. It confuses the brain. Research shows that when constructive feedback is wrapped in too much positivity, the brain filters out the tough part. It clings to the compliment because that feels safer. Number two, it decreases trust. People eventually learn when you tell me something nice, something bad is coming. That erodes authenticity. It signals fear. Not their fear, your fear. It communicates I'm uncomfortable telling you the truth. Leaders cannot build trust by avoiding discomfort. And it puts your comfort over their growth. And that is unkind. Clarity is kindness. Ambiguity is cruelty. The goal is not to protect their feelings at the expense of their future. The goal is to elevate both. Part two, how to open a tough conversation with courage and congruence. Most leaders start these conversations wrong. They begin with small talk. How was your weekend? How's the family? What's new? And then suddenly, bam, the tough feedback hits. This is incongruent and instantly spikes defensiveness. So here's how to do it right. First off, lead with a clear, direct opening. No warmups, no emotional bait and switch. Try, thanks for making time. I want to have a tough conversation because I care about you and your success here. Or I want to be up front. This conversation may feel uncomfortable, but my intention is to support you, not criticize you. This eliminates surprises, it builds trust, and it sets a foundation of respect. Then you create emotional safety. You can say this isn't about who you are, it's about a pattern that I want us to work through together. This separates the person from the behavior. And then use the I've noticed framework. People lack full self-awareness. You're helping them see something they may genuinely not realize. So, for example, you could say, I've noticed deadlines have been missed three times this month, and it's creating delays for the team. Or I've noticed tension in team meetings and it's affecting collaboration. Specific, neutral, and behavior-based feedback. Explain why this matters. People change when they understand impact. You could tell them this affects trust, or this affects patient care, this affects team energy, or this affects your leadership presence. Clarity creates ownership. Part three, what to do when they get defensive? Here's the part leader's dread the defensiveness. But let me normalize something for you. Defensiveness is not disrespect, it's protection. People protect themselves when they feel exposed or afraid. Your job is to calmly guide the conversation back to purpose. Here are common derailments and how to respond to them. The first one is blame. Well, that's because someone else didn't do their part. How do you rein it back in? How do you redirect it? You could respond with, I understand there are multiple factors, and today I want to focus on what you can control. Derailment number two, minimizing. It was just one time. Nope, rein them back in. Let's look at the pattern here, not the isolated moment. Derailment number three, emotional defensiveness. I feel like you're attacking me. Ah, pause that. I hear that, and that's not my intent. I'm bringing this to you because I believe in your ability to rise to a higher level. Shut that down. Derailment number four, changing the subject. Well, what about when so-and-so did fill in the blank? You can redirect them by saying, we can talk about that separately. Right now, let's stay focused on what we're addressing today. And derailment number five, turning it back around on you. You never told me this before. Pull them back in. Fair point. And now that we're here, let's talk about how to move forward. Redirecting isn't harsh. It doesn't have to be. It's leadership. Part four, the powerful pause. This, this is a leader's secret weapon. Silence is one of the most underused tools in leadership. When you share something difficult, when you offer honest feedback, when you name a behavior that must change, do so and then stop talking. This is the powerful pause, and here is why it works. It gives their nervous system time to settle. It allows the brain to shift from emotion to logic. It creates space for reflection, and it signals that you're not afraid of discomfort. It shows confidence in the truth you just shared. Neuroscience tells us silence increases prefrontal cortex activity, the part of the brain responsible for emotional regulation, clarity, and awareness. After you deliver the truth, say, take a moment and sit with that. And then allow quiet. Quiet is where accountability grows. It's where defensiveness softens. Quiet is where breakthrough begins. Part five is creating a psychologically safe space. Safety doesn't mean ease. Safety means respect. Here's how to create it in real time. You can reassure your intention. Look, I want you to win. I'm here to help you grow. Separate identity from behavior. This isn't who you are. This is something you're doing. Invite their perspective without losing direction. What are you seeing that I may not be aware of? This signals partnership. And then move to validate without excusing. I can understand that challenge. And we still need to address this behavior. Safety plus accountability equals the opportunity for transformation. Part six, how do you close out conversation powerfully? A great close elevates, clarifies, and anchors accountability. So the first step is to reinforce belief. I'm having this conversation because I believe in your potential. Number two is to define the next steps explicitly. Here's what success looks like over the next 30 days. And then number three is offer support. What resources do you need to be successful? And last, number four, establish check-ins. Let's regroup weekly to ensure progress and alignment. Clarity plus belief equals motivation. And clarity plus structure equals results. Part seven, building the courage muscle. Hard conversations don't get easier. You get stronger. Every time you step into one with courage and compassion, your confidence expands, your clarity sharpens, your leadership matures, your emotional intelligence deepens, and your team's trust grows. This is how leadership is forged in the moments that require truth, steadiness, and heart. Okay, I we're gonna wrap this up. I've got a challenge for you. I want you to close your eyes and I want you to think about that conversation that you have absolutely been avoiding, the one you dread having. You know exactly which one I'm talking about. It's the one that wakes you up at night, the one that puts knots in your stomach, the one you keep pushing, even though you know it needs to happen. So here's my challenge: have that conversation in the next 24 hours. Not when you feel ready, not when you find the right time, 24 hours. You are capable of doing hard things. You are a leader who leads with head and heart. And courage is built by action, not intention. When you've had the conversation, I want to hear about it. Really, I'd love to hear how it went. You can go to evokegreatness.com and click the contact me tab. There's an orange button. If you click that, you can leave me a voicemail. You don't even have to leave your name. It can be anonymous. Or you can share who you are. Either way, I want to know what conversation did you have? How did it go? What shifted afterwards? Maybe in your mind, what shifted in the way you showed up to that hard conversation? I want you to know how important your feedback is to me. Your feedback guides me. It helps me create deeper episodes that meet you where you are and take you where you want to go. So if today's episode resonated with you, share it with another leader, someone who needs that clarity and courage and direction today. You can be honest and kind and direct, and you can be courageous, and you can do all of that in the same conversation. I appreciate you joining me today. Look forward to seeing you next week. If today's episode challenged you, moved you, or lit a fire in your soul, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with somebody who's ready to rise. Could I ask you to take 30 seconds to leave a review? It's the best way to say thank you and help this show reach more bold leaders like you. Because this isn't just a podcast, it's a movement. We're not here to play small. We're here to lead loud, one bold and unapologetic step at a time. Until next time, stay bold, stay grounded, and make moves that make mediocre uncomfortable.
