Evoke Greatness Podcast

Lead Beyond Limits with Jennifer Koster (Part 2)

• Episode 164

Share episode

Send us a text

🎧 Episode 164: Lead Beyond Limits: Thriving with a Hidden Disability with Jennifer Koster (Part 2)

In this second part of our conversation with Jennifer Koster, we talk through the deeper spiritual dimensions of her journey with HEDS and how her experiences have shaped her approach to leadership, vulnerability, and community. Jennifer shares powerful insights about overcoming internalized ableism and offers wisdom that extends far beyond those living with chronic conditions.

We explore:

  • The integral role of faith during both challenging and good times
  • The importance of not underestimating yourself or your team
  • Balancing energy management with ambitious goals
  • The power of vulnerability as a leadership tool
  • Recognizing and addressing internalized ableism
  • Building supportive communities that understand practical needs
  • Leaving a meaningful legacy through presence and service

🔑 Key takeaways:

  1. Sometimes we experience the most growth in our faith during the most difficult times
  2. Leaders often underestimate both themselves and their teams - limiting vision limits possibilities
  3. Energy management requires clarity about vision and values to know when to say "no"
  4. Vulnerability might feel uncomfortable but can be a powerful tool for connection
  5. Addressing internalized ableism starts with identifying limiting beliefs and replacing them with empowering ones
  6. Support comes in many forms - practical help can be just as valuable as emotional encouragement

💡 Quotes to remember: 

"Sometimes I listen to my body and sometimes I tell it because if I listened all the time I wouldn't be making any progress toward any goals." - Jennifer Koster

"Don't underestimate what you're capable of." - Jennifer Koster

"We're built for community. We're built to be there for one another and try our best to understand and have a sense of belonging for people." - Jennifer Koster

"My disability can't be thought away... I can't just wish my disability away. I can't take a vacation from it... it's always there as an undercurrent and all of us have undercurrents." - Jennifer Koster

🌟 Featured Insights:

  • The transformative power of reframing limiting beliefs
  • How the EDS community demonstrates exceptional resilience
  • The importance of showing up for others even when you don't know what to say
  • Finding purpose through connecting leadership principles with personal challenges
  • Balancing practical and emotional support for those facing difficulties

📚 Wisdom to Remember: Focus your vision beyond the day-to-day struggles, love yourself and others, and build your community. If we leave our family, workplace, faith community, and friends better because of our presence, we create a lasting legacy.

A rising tide raises all ships, and I invite you along on this journey to Evoke Greatness!

Check out my website: www.evokegreatness.com

Follow me on:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/sonnie-linebarger-899b9a52/

https://www.instagram.com/evoke.greatness/

https://www.tiktok.com/@evoke.greatness

http://www.youtube.com/@evokegreatness








Speaker 1:

Welcome to Evoke Greatness. We are officially entering year three of this podcast and I am filled with so much gratitude for each and every one of you who've joined me on this incredible journey of growth and self-discovery. I'm Sunny, your host and fellow traveler on this path of personal evolution. This podcast is a sanctuary for the curious, the ambitious and the introspective. It's for those of you who, like me, are captivated by the champion mindset and driven by an insatiable hunger for growth and knowledge. Whether you're just beginning your journey or you're well along your path, you're going to find stories here that resonate with your experiences and aspirations. Over the last two years, we've shared countless stories of triumph and challenge, of resilience and transformation. We've laughed, we've reflected and we've grown together. And as we've evolved, so too has this podcast. Remember, no matter what chapter you're on in your own story, you belong here. This community we've built together is a place of support, inspiration and shared growth. Where intention goes, energy flows, and the energy you bring to this space elevates us all. So, whether you're listening while commuting, working out or enjoying your morning coffee, perhaps from one of those motivational mugs I'm so fond of, know that you're a part of something special. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your curiosity, your openness and your commitment to personal growth. As we embark on year three, I invite you to lean in, to listen deeply and to let these stories resonate with your soul. I believe that a rising tide raises all ships and I invite you along in this journey to evoke greatness.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to Part 2 of Lead Beyond Limits with my guest, jennifer Koster. In Part 1, we explored how Jennifer's 30-year journey with HEDS taught her that a diagnosis can be empowering rather than limiting, providing validation and community. She taught us how intentionally reframing challenges transforms our relationships with them and how the language we use dramatically shifts our perspective on disabilities. Jennifer also shared her practice of asking what if? To open up new possibilities beyond perceived limitations, and revealed how living with a hidden disability cultivates unique leadership qualities, including adaptability, resilience and authentic team building.

Speaker 1:

Now, in part two, we're going to dive deeper with Jennifer into her spiritual journey, her approach to vulnerability and the powerful wisdom the EDS community offers about overcoming life's challenges. So if you haven't listened to part one, go back and give that one a listen. Okay, let's hop into part two and I want to pull in a thread of something you said around your faith and you and I really met in a LinkedIn Bible study group. Our good buddy, mitch Sugg, put on and grabbed this group of followers and put us in this Bible study that we would get on and we'd have these video calls and kind of talk through something that he created for a Bible study. And so I know this. But I'm curious, as you think about all you've navigated how has your faith been a tool, an instrument for you in the hard times, but in the good times, in the, in the challenging times?

Speaker 2:

But I think I've experienced the most growth in my faith and the most surrendering of self and only to Jesus in the most difficult of times. And so in that regards, are the challenges part of the blessing, and we actually met in the Bible study that was on the book of James Sunny, and the book of James is my favorite book in the Bible and there's these verses about like a reflection pool of becoming less like you and more like Jesus through a refining process, and that's how I feel about the challenges. It's like okay, god, thank you for reminding me again. I'm going to try to be grateful in all circumstances, even though I guarantee you I am not grateful for all circumstances. I am not. And whatever the process needs to be more like you and less like me. That is scary, but I will right, let's do it, and I try to carry those moments of just all the praise reports in the good times and the blessings.

Speaker 2:

But there has been a large amount of growth in my faith during the challenging times and when I was having that health incident I was discussing earlier, I had a colleague at a different organization who was going through a cancer journey and I was spending some time talking with her.

Speaker 2:

She's like you know there's nothing like being taken out of work like this and not being able to do a lot and having a lot of free time on your hands. That you know brings you closer to the Lord, because this is what you're doing and you're reading the Bible, you're praying, you're in community, you're basically at the time. For me, I was definitely a receiver. We had so many people in community come around us and it wasn't a time where I was giving back. It was a time of receiving, and I think you know that's a gift both ways, because it's a gift to the person who's blessed, who's giving and also receiving, and it was just a time of real growth and reflection for me. So am I far enough along in my journey that I can say thank goodness that happened? I do see aspects of it as a blessing. I still struggle sometimes with the challenge parts, but I often think I'm not sure how I would have done it if I didn't have faith in a faith community, because it's been so important for me.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, thank you for sharing that In your talk. Lead Beyond Limits. You connect that hidden disability with leadership resilience. What do you think are the most important lessons other leaders can learn from your journey of and?

Speaker 2:

there is this I've worked with Novus Global and or a company out in LA for coaching, and they have a book out by Jason Jaggard and the coaches at Novus Global called Beyond High Performance, and they say that the top two biggest leadership challenges are that leaders underestimate themselves and underestimate their teams. Basically, we have this intuitive fence that we think is a fact. And if we're in the middle of this fence, we're this intuitive fence that we think is a fact and if we're in the middle of this fence, we're in our comfort zone. And to go be on that fence, you have to really think about what is a thrilling vision for yourself and your life and who would you need to become to reach that.

Speaker 2:

And don't underestimate that, don't underestimate yourself or your team, underestimate that. Don't underestimate yourself or your team, because as a leader, your fence kind of limits what your team, how your team, can expand that. So where your vision is limited, it'd be really hard for the team to go beyond the limit of your own intuitive fence. So definitely not underestimating what is possible. And then once you start seeing things that you previously thought were impossible are happening, it's like well, what else? Right, like what else could there be and that's a beautiful place to live in. And if there's a closed door, great, that must mean something else is out there. That doesn't mean the end, right. So I've really appreciated those vision conversations and part of going beyond your intuitive fence as to what you think is possible. It helps get those around you thinking what's possible.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, I think many people with chronic conditions often talk about having to really carefully manage their energy. You know, and when you think about what you have to do on a day-to-day basis, how has this necessity influenced you in how you approach goals and priorities across all areas of your life?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the energy is a great question and it's so true. And I've said I definitely believe in self-care and listening to your body. But just for me personally with EDS, what I say is sometimes I listen to my body and sometimes I tell it, because if I listened all the time I wouldn't be making any progress toward any goals. So that's a personal. I definitely am a believer of listening and self-care. So I'm not trying to tell anyone who's doing that that that's not right, but just for me, sometimes I have to tell it.

Speaker 2:

So sleep is a big can be a big challenge for me, and so there are days where sleep has consistently not been restorative and there might be a day where, okay, then I need to listen and be okay with rescheduling some things.

Speaker 2:

And then there might be other times where you know what I'm going to have to push through and the body's going to give up eventually and it's going to sleep. And knowing that from past experience for me personally gives a little bit less anxiety over the sleepless nights because I know I'm going to get back to a sleep routine. But managing the energy is paramount. So being clear on your vision and saying no to things that aren't in alignment with your vision or your values helps with the energy management. And once you're clear on vision and your values like for me if it's faith and family and making an impact through work and leadership once you're clear on those things and friendships, then you can say no to the things that aren't in alignment with the vision, knowing that you have to manage your energy and everyone has to manage their energy.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, how has your experience changed the way you view vulnerability, both in personal and professional settings?

Speaker 2:

Well, it's changed a lot. I don't know if it's changed so much how I view it as a superpower. I'm not super confident in doing it myself. I wouldn't view it as my own superpower, but I feel like I've been called to it and I'm trying to walk in that obedience. And it is still uncomfortable for me Three years later of doing this.

Speaker 2:

I'm nervous to be sharing my story here, but it has made an impact and when I have shared I feel like you know it's nice when people give positive feedback so great People have told me that's really resonated with me, that's been impactful for me and that's so wonderful to hear. And then also, if it helps anyone else feel comfortable to share their own stories. I mean, I'm a big connector and I just feel like we connect over stories. We're built for community. We're built to be there for one another and tried our best to understand and have a sense of belonging for people. So if it helps others share their stories so they can more fully feel like they can bring their whole self to life and to work, where they don't have to mask who they are or change things about themselves to make other people feel more comfortable, then I think that's a win and I've appreciated that when others have led with vulnerability, and I'm still learning to take up the challenge of it.

Speaker 1:

Well, and I think, even as you take on the challenge of that, you're mirroring that to others who may be even seeing it as more of a challenge from their perspective. And I think that, again, like that's that gift, like you had talked about earlier, that sometimes things that we're working on as we start to build that muscle, we're showing somebody else who isn't quite where we are, that it's possible as well.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, that's absolutely right, and I love that you use the analogy of building the muscle, because we talk a lot about, like lifting the weights, of getting comfortable, being uncomfortable, because nobody's great at something the first time they do something like that's where all these new possibilities, you know, come about in your vision and you see things as more possible Right.

Speaker 1:

You touched on internalized ableism in your presentations and in your talk. How has recognizing and addressing this changed your relationship with yourself and your capabilities?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I didn't even know the term self-ableism before I got my diagnosis, so that's how uninformed I was. But once I learned more about it I was like, oh my goodness, I am making these self-judgments left and right. And I did this exercise with my coach where I wrote down I have a note in my phone of all my limiting beliefs like just like, lay them out there Things like, if I'm struggling with EDS, I can't be a good wife, mother or coworker, I'll be a burden to other people. You know all the things that, for me, ended up with I'm just not worthy and didn't even realize that that was kind of like a life sentence I was giving myself.

Speaker 2:

And then I was living in that shame of feeling like a burden or, oh, I can contribute in these areas, but I can't contribute at all in these other areas. Feeling less than or that. You know, oh, I should have done this or that, or wish I could have done this or that. And flipping those limiting beliefs and kind of that life sentence of feeling like you're not worthy to empowered beliefs such as you know I'm worthy of all resource. There's a whole community of people around advocating for me to live my best life. You know all these different, more empowered beliefs has really helped, and things like changing the language that I mentioned earlier, like I didn't hurt myself, like this isn't something that I did, that is something to be blamed or, you know, take a different level of responsibility for and I think it's allowed me to give myself a lot more grace and self-care and to lean into where I am able to contribute and what my participation can look like, without needing to feel like I'm less than because of it.

Speaker 1:

And you've talked a couple of times just around community and as you've connected with other zebras in the EDS community, what common threads of resilience have you noticed that might be valuable for everyone to understand, even people who don't have EDS?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, the people that I know with EDS are some of the most resilient, amazing people I know. I think that the common threads that they share is they have this overcomer attitude like this I'm knocked down right now. Now and I'm definitely getting back up again and seeing what's next. Right, and okay, maybe I need to have a break, I need to have some self care, maybe I need to have an outlet for my emotions and then I'm going to reset. And I also have met some really amazing people with EDS that have challenged me in a good way.

Speaker 2:

I always tell my kids comparison is the thief of joy, but if comparison is a motivator and again, all EDS is different, so I'm not trying to compare myself in an unrealistic way to others, but I've found some real value in seeing some of the things that they're able to do. And there's always that statement that it's not breaking if it's based on fact, right? So seeing the facts of what they've created in their life has inspired me like, oh, I wonder. And again, not comparing us as apples to apples or having any judgment, but I wonder like look at what they're doing and I wonder what that would look like for me. And so the people that I know they're also extremely encouraging, like they have your back. They're not going to let you go into a down spiral of self-ableism and judgment. They're going to be encouraging you to. You know, be on the up spiral and look at what's next and be supportive. I joke because I've been blessed.

Speaker 2:

Like sometimes if I have a really bad time with my EDS, I call it an EDS crash and I just have a lovely community of friends. Maybe they send flowers or drop off a meal which is so appreciated. And then my friend with EDS sent a package and I opened it and it was like Advil and like a back brace and a neck pillow and it was like all the practical things. And so I think, like sometimes we need to mirror the practical with the emotional support to people in our lives. And what would that look like for them? Maybe ask If you want to support someone. Maybe ask them what would the best support look like for you right now if I wanted to.

Speaker 2:

You know, be supportive, communicating when there's hard times, and I've definitely tried to utilize that in all aspects of my life because I think sometimes, when people are going through challenges, there's a death in the family or friend or there's a job loss or there's just these really challenging times.

Speaker 2:

Sometimes people don't show up or say anything because they're worried about saying the wrong thing. And I just say just show up for people, even when you don't know what to say, because the fact that you're just making an effort and you're there, I think they're going to know your intention and don't worry so much about how to do it right, because I just remember the people that are there for me and that's what I try to do for others. And I think I've learned a lot about that from people with EDS, people in the chronic illness community and just people in general. I mean, we are all having our. Sometimes I say my disability can't be thought away, like all these things about mindset. They're great, but I can't just wish my disability away. I can't take a vacation from it, nothing. It's always there as an undercurrent and all of us have undercurrents and it's nice to have support and encouragement along the way.

Speaker 1:

I love that. Well, as we wrap up, there's always a question I love to ask, and that's if it were your last day on earth, and of all the things you've learned and taken in and gone through, you could only impart one piece of advice to the world. What would it be.

Speaker 2:

Oh, my goodness, that's such a huge question All the things I've learned in the advice. So right now I'm doing a. I've been doing a blog for my sons for the past two and a half years, so I'm trying to actually do that with my sons. But I think it would be focus, focus, your Focus, your vision and your eyes on Jesus and the things outside of the day-to-day of this world and love yourself, love others and build your community. And I think that if we're leaving our family, our workplace, our faith community, our friends better because of our presence and our workplace, our faith community, our friends better because of our presence and our absence, that's something that we can look back at and feel like we've had a legacy.

Speaker 1:

Well, jennifer, thank you so much for the courage to just show up and, out of faith and out of obedience, around talking more about what this journey has looked like for you, and I know with just such a sense of certainty that even those who may not be battling this same diagnosis, there's gonna be something that resonates Because, to your point, everybody has an undercurrent and it looks a little bit different, maybe has a different name for everybody, maybe it doesn't even have a name yet, but everybody has that undercurrent, and you stepping out and being the voice of being willing to be vulnerable and share not only the challenges but the way that you've been able to empower yourself, I think is such a beautiful story, and so I appreciate you coming on and sharing that with me in the audience.

Speaker 2:

Well, thank you so much. It's been a pleasure talking with you. Well, thank you so much. It's been a pleasure talking with you.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for listening and for being here on this journey with me. I hope you'll stick around If you liked this episode. It would mean the world for me if you would rate and review the podcast or share it with someone you know. Many need to hear this message. I love to hear from you all and want you to know that you can leave me a voicemail directly. If you go to my website, evokegreatnesscom, and go to the contact me tab, you'll just hit the big old orange button and record your message. I love the feedback and comments that I've been getting, so please keep them coming. I'll leave you with the wise words of author Robin Sharma Greatness comes by doing a few small and smart things each and every day. It comes from taking little steps consistently. It comes from making a few small chips against everything in your professional and personal life that is ordinary, so that a day eventually arrives when all that's left is the extraordinary.

People on this episode

Head Shot

Sonnie Linebarger

Host