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From Self-Doubt to Success with Dr. Lisa Orbe-Austin Part 2

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🎧 Episode 146: From Self-Doubt to Success | Part 2 with Dr. Lisa Orbe-Austin

In this powerful conclusion of our conversation with Dr. Lisa Orbe-Austin, we explore how women leaders can create sustainable success while maintaining balance and fostering healthier workplace cultures. Building on the foundations of authentic leadership discussed in Part 1, Dr. Orbe-Austin shares practical strategies for setting boundaries and redefining success on your own terms.

We dive deep into:

  • Redefining work-life integration for senior leaders
  • Creating reciprocal boundary-setting in organizations
  • Breaking the isolation of women in C-suite positions
  • Building supportive networks across leadership roles
  • Transforming traditional leadership models
  • Understanding the transgenerational impact of impostor syndrome

🔑 Key takeaways:

  1. More responsibility doesn't have to mean more hours - it's about working smarter
  2. Share your boundaries and actively ask about others' boundaries
  3. Create systems of support both inside and outside your organization
  4. Success definitions should come from within, not from external validation
  5. Leadership evolution requires unlearning traditional toxic practices
  6. Early intervention can prevent impostor syndrome in the next generation

💡 Quotes to remember: "We'll never survive in this workplace that was built for men if we work like men. We have to work in the context of how our lives fit." - Dr. Lisa Orbe-Austin

"Be brave and think big... not just in service of surviving, but dream big for yourself." - Dr. Lisa Orbe-Austin

📚 Resources:

  • NEW BOOK: "Your Child's Greatness" - Releasing February 11th
  • Instagram: @DoctorOrbeAustin
  • Dynamic Transitions Psychological Consulting: www.dynamictransitionsllp.com

EXCITING NEWS: Dr. Orbe-Austin's upcoming book "Your Child's Greatness" tackles the roots of impostor syndrome in childhood development. Pre-order now for its February 11th release!

A rising tide raises all ships, and I invite you along on this journey to Evoke Greatness!

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Evoke Greatness. We are officially entering year three of this podcast and I am filled with so much gratitude for each and every one of you who've joined me on this incredible journey of growth and self-discovery. I'm Sunny, your host and fellow traveler on this path of personal evolution. This podcast is a sanctuary for the curious, the ambitious and the introspective. It's for those of you who, like me, are captivated by the champion mindset and driven by an insatiable hunger for growth and knowledge. Whether you're just beginning your journey or you're well along your path, you're going to find stories here that resonate with your experiences and aspirations. Over the last two years, we've shared countless stories of triumph and challenge, of resilience and transformation. We've laughed, we've reflected and we've grown together. And as we've evolved, so too has this podcast. Remember, no matter what chapter you're on in your own story, you belong here. This community we've built together is a place of support, inspiration and shared growth. Where intention goes, energy flows, and the energy you bring to this space elevates us all. So, whether you're listening while commuting, working out or enjoying your morning coffee, perhaps from one of those motivational mugs I'm so fond of, know that you're a part of something special. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your curiosity, your openness and your commitment to personal growth. As we embark on year three, I invite you to lean in, to listen deeply and to let these stories resonate with your soul. I believe that a rising tide raises all ships and I invite you along in this journey to evoke greatness.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to part two with my guest, dr Lisa Orbe-Austin. In this episode, we're going to talk through navigating senior leadership roles while maintaining work-life integration, setting and modeling healthy boundaries, creating psychological safety in workplace cultures and preparing the next generation of leaders. And if you haven't yet, make sure to go back and listen to part one, where we deep dive how much success often looks different than we initially imagined. The fact that leadership comes in many authentic forms and there isn't one right way to lead. The fact that imposter syndrome can significantly impact how we develop our teams and the way that, as leaders, we share our struggles can actually free others to acknowledge and overcome their own. I hope you've enjoyed it so far. Let's go ahead and hop into it. The women in our audience are often juggling high stakes leadership roles with managing full lives outside of work. How have you seen top performers shift their perspective on that. You know air quotes, having it all, and what that means, particularly as they gain more influence and responsibility.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I mean, I think I often hear this from people who are like middle management, but they're like you know who you know recently, you know, either got married or thinking about starting a family, and they've often said to me I don't want to grow in my career, because growing in my career means more, like I'll have to spend more time, more this, more that, and I don't think I can do both. And I think what is so important for us as women, as we kind of grow in our careers, is recognizing that we, if we take up our power and we choose the right environments, we can work normal hours and be senior and do what we need to do and still, like I was just talking to someone today who's like a president of an organization and she was saying you know, I start my morning off and I work out and I tell them this help me by telling my dark reports. Like I don't talk to anyone during that time, I compromise with no one. Like I pick up my son at a certain hour and nobody talks to me. So she's taken up her power so that her life can be balanced.

Speaker 2:

And I think you, you have to think about with more responsibility doesn't necessarily come more hours. It just means sort of learning to work in a way that your life fits into your work life and modeling that for other women, because we'll never survive in this workplace that was built for men If we work like men. We have to work in the context of how our lives fit, you know, and so I do think it's so important. Boundaries are important, not overworking is important. Try not to prove yourself as important, really just taking up your confidence and your power and really using it to kind of craft the life and the career you want to craft. And I've seen it time and time again, you can. You can have a normal life and you can raise a family and you can have really senior positions. I see it all the time in my practice all the time, but it's not typical.

Speaker 1:

But you do carve out the pathway for others to do the same yeah, and that type of self-care and boundaries are what lead to us not only being physically healthy, but really strong and healthy mental health as well, and that is so important because we can tip those scales the really wrong way, and not only does that erode our physical health, but our mental health as well.

Speaker 1:

And I think we see probably a bigger struggle today, or maybe we're talking about it, shining a light on it more than ever. But you're right when someone says hey, it's not unrealistic to say hey during this period of time. This is my do not disturb time. I will holler at you as soon as I'm done here. But establishing that boundary and then having people respect that boundary, that's a really important relationship to have.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, and I think it's you know this leader that I was talking to this morning. One of the things she said to me was, like I tell my direct reports what my boundaries are, and then I asked them to tell me what their boundaries are, because she said the company is a building, you know, but I represent the company and I'm going to try to get as much out of you as I can, and you have to let me know what your boundaries are or I'll keep thinking, you know, I won't know that there are boundaries. And so I think it was such a beautiful way to kind of articulate the fact that you know not only do you have to respect your own boundaries, but you have to respect other people, and they will be different from yours. It won't be that you happen to match up your extra sky schedules or pickup schedule. You'll have to accommodate it, but you also want yours accommodated, and so I think it's such an important way to think about setting boundaries and building culture around it.

Speaker 2:

I think it's so important, but it's complicated, it's not simple, but I think you know it is important, especially for women, to be able to have balance, and I do think you're. You are absolutely right. I don't know if we're talking about mental health more in the workplace or if there's just greater you know, greater awareness, or if there's greater issues, but I am hearing this conversation, like everywhere, about you know people's mental health, suffering from their, the impact directly of work, you know, and feeling like they don't even know what to do do because they're seeing people deteriorate mental health-wise but they don't have the skills or the knowledge about how to handle it at the workplace.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I love what you said about that reciprocal feedback right and getting sharing your boundaries and asking that of others. And I am new in a role. I just accepted a position as a CEO with a company just a couple weeks ago.

Speaker 2:

Congratulations.

Speaker 1:

I'm so excited, thank you. I say this because I want everybody to know you can teach an old dog new tricks. Right, we can change the way we lead and model an example, because, as you said, that I'm working right now to get to know my team members what works for them, what doesn't, but I never thought about asking them what are your boundaries? And so that is going to be a piece that I insert into my kind of get to know you side of things, because I do want to know. I expect 150% right Now. Is that possible all the time? No, it's not. I'm not going to be able to give 150% all the time, but when I share what my boundaries are and then I actually ask for what theirs are, we're exhibiting to people that their boundaries are important as well, and if we don't know them how can we respect them?

Speaker 2:

Absolutely, and that we're also saying you don't have to get to a point where you need to set boundaries in order to tell me what they are. You can tell me them up front. And I think what she also said, which I thought was really helpful, is because nobody's been asked this question, a lot of them just looked at her and kind of was like I don't know what to do with this, and she let them kind of go away and think about their boundaries and then come back and tell her also that these were kind of movable targets, like if they changed, to let her know, you know. So I do think like it's such a continuing ongoing conversation, but I think such an important one to have healthier environments where there is psychological safety and people can protect their mental well-being and can have more than just a work life and have a personal life, and so I'm all for teaching old dogs and old systems new tricks. So I love the idea that we could go around and do something different. That would be better for ourselves and better for others.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I would encourage you know those who are seasoned leaders, who are, who have their routine shake it up a little bit, throw, throw in some things that shake it up a little bit and and stretch your own self, stretch the way in which you lead and and think outside of that normal box that sometimes gets comfortable. Think about what's uncomfortable again, like in the best possible way, but I think that would surprise sometimes the people around you is when you're willing to look at something maybe with a little bit of a different lens.

Speaker 2:

Absolutely and I think you know, thinking about like that particular like lens that you want to open up, it can be really helpful, and I do, I do really believe, like it. You know, I remember a supervisor once telling me this in my training but he was like never stop learning and never stop being uncomfortable, that you don't know, and I thought it was such a good point because he's like it doesn't have to be therapy or psychology, it could be like learning a new skill. But he's like there's such a discomfort with learning a new skill. You always have to be in that discomfort because when, as a therapist, you're asking someone to make changes, you have to understand how hard that is and what kind of effort they're putting into making changes because you're trying something new. I think the same is true for leaders. If you're asking them to do something for you or learn or stretch, you should also be learning, stretching and understanding emotionally what that feels like.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, there's a it's interesting because I heard this for years and I never fully understood it working more in a kind of a team capacity and maybe mid and even senior level management. But when you get to that C-suite or that boardroom there's a unique kind of loneliness that can come with being one of the few women there. What insights have you gained about building genuine connections and those support systems at that level, especially when vulnerability feels risky?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's so true. I mean, I think you know, as the women that I work with get more senior, they do get lonelier, and I do think I'm often encouraging them, if they can't find support within the system, to find other opportunities to meet with senior leaders. You know, women there's all kinds of organizations that are trying to talk to women leaders but to find these organizations so that they connect with other people at the same level, so that they don't feel alone. Because I do also think even when there are a couple of women in the organization that are leaders, they're often turned against each other in a lot of ways and they can. I would hope that they can form a connection amongst each other.

Speaker 2:

But if you can't because of the way the system is set up, find it outside and try not to in some ways propagate women coming after women at that senior level and really try to build with them, because I do think we are greater and stronger in numbers when we are doing this together.

Speaker 2:

They want to separate us for a reason. It becomes harder for us to have power. We don't have blocks, they've got blocks. You know, men have blocks. We don't have power. We need blocks of power too. Even if we don't love somebody 100%, they can still be helpful and an ally in a lot of ways, and so I do think it's really important to find community and to not be alone. It is so important to be able to rise up the ladder because men are doing it, they're sharing information about how they got where they got and the insider tips and the relationships, and women are just working hard oftentimes and you have to be doing the other pieces too of building relationships looking at your next thing, figuring out angling, being strategic with your own career and I do think relationships, I think, play the most important part of that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and I think that also requires getting uncomfortable right, and if you want to make a connection with another executive woman, whether it's in your sphere or not, be willing to ask. And sometimes it's going to be the uncomfortable no, like, no, I don't want to connect, no, I can't mentor you, no, you know whatever, like I, just I'm super busy right now. There's going to be the no. There's also going to be the yes, because there are a lot of women out there Surprisingly I think some people don't recognize this there's a lot of women out there who are like how can I show up for you and support you?

Speaker 1:

And sometimes we're in this safe box again, not wanting to take a risk because I don't want to look like I don't know what I'm doing. Well, no, we all need support.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, and I think you know, oftentimes what I see is less of the no the no happens really rarely but just more of the ignoring, and people take the ignoring as painful as the no sometimes. But I think you also have to recognize sometimes there's other things going on for that person why they can't support you. They're too busy, they're overwhelmed, they're maybe changing jobs, careers. So I think just try to think of the most positive thing you can about them if they don't respond, and keep trying, because there will be people who say yes and people who want, who believe in the mission of supporting other women leaders and know how difficult it is and how rare it is, and so I do think it's don't do it alone. I think it does something to a person to be doing it alone.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, you've observed that as women reach senior positions, their definition of success often undergoes a profound evolution.

Speaker 2:

How do you guide leaders in rewriting their narrative of achievement, especially when they're blazing trails for the next generation or for yeah, I mean I think you know I'm very much really interested before, the legacy and in what they want for themselves, and so I'm really thinking about, like, especially with imposter syndrome. So imposter syndrome has a very narrow definition of success, you know, and it's been groomed in you over the years. So your parents had some idea, like your teachers had some idea. Eventually some bosses had some idea, and what happens when you have imposter syndrome often is that you don't have an idea of what success means. It means whatever someone would be proud of you for doing, whatever they're recommending you for, and I think one of the things becomes super important is taking control of your own career and your own idea of what success means.

Speaker 2:

Success may have nothing to do with money or title. It may have something to do with something else, and that is the thing you should aim toward then, and then I think you will create a legacy for the people who are like you and who have not had the opportunity yet to redefine the success for themselves. And so I do think it's really about finding, really having a deep dive. Look at what does it mean for you. It may not have anything to do with career. It might, it actually might have something specific to do with career, but I think it's really important to figure out what is. My own definitions separate from the people I've looked to for validation before, and it might be very different from what even they want.

Speaker 1:

As women kind of progress into their careers. The most powerful women executives often speak of moments that they had to unlearn everything that they like those preconceived notions that you had about leadership. What do you think you have witnessed as a transformative shift in working with women who are senior and executive leaders, in them going through the process of kind of unpacking and unlearning some of those things that they had built so strongly in their minds?

Speaker 2:

I mean, I think it really when they were kind of doing the unpacking and thinking about, sort of like, how they want to lead. That's different from how they were taught to lead. I think oftentimes they recognize the ways in which those other ways while they seem universal, they seem like the only way to do things were also negatively impactful on their own lives and careers and the people around them. And so I think what I experienced from my leaders is that you know they're looking for a better, gentler, kinder way to run an organization where people are not having to like become damaged as a result of their experience at the organization. It's not always easy, because sometimes the organization itself is toxic and you're just trying to keep your team, you know not, not toxic.

Speaker 2:

And but I think it's so important to them I think oftentimes to to try things differently, to build relationships differently, and sometimes that comes with a lot of doubts from other, from other leaders, like what are you doing over there? You know, like it's all like touchy feely over there. Why do you care? What's happening with your direct report? And so I do think that like it does often receive a lot of criticism, especially from people holding these traditional stances, but I don't think you're aiming toward getting approval from them. You're aiming towards figuring out, like, whatever your goal is, whether it's create a cohesive team, whether it's to kind of make sure that you have a team that you know values, the work, values being there with you, but you know so it depends on what your goals are. But I don't often think that the women that I work with want to replicate a model that often didn't. They may have survived it, but it wasn't meant for them and they didn't necessarily holistically benefit from it.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's an important word, though they were surviving in that space. But is that the environment in which you want to create for others right, and shedding some of those limiting beliefs or those limitations that we put on ourselves again, so that the environment thrives not just us, not just our team, but that?

Speaker 2:

we're really promoting that. Yeah, exactly, and there's some place for people to see something different that works. You know Right.

Speaker 1:

Well, you have something coming up in February, something really exciting. You've got your next book, your Child's Greatness. Tell us a little bit about it and what was the intent of writing it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so imposter syndrome begins in childhood. It begins with the expectations and the kind of ideas around success and failure that we're raised with, and so to target this early so that people don't develop it, we always thought about developing a book on parenting and things that we want to kind of push and support and things that we may want to change and alter, and so this book was really about. That is, about sort of things that you need to consider around your child's development, around issues of perfectionism and issues of performance, anxiety and all of these different themes that relate specifically to imposter syndrome and how to approach them in a bit of a different manner so they don't develop these experiences. And I think we always had this thought that when we go out and do talks at organizations to leaders, oftentimes they would often ask about their kids.

Speaker 2:

It was really interesting and I would be like that is so interesting, like their kid isn't even here, like, but they would think about their kids and then they would ask like how do I prevent this? Or I see this developing in my child, how can I, you know, work on stopping it? Because also it can be transgenerational. So if you struggle with imposter syndrome, in essence, you're modeling that for your children and that also can affect the way that they see how you interact with the world of work. And so, you know, I think it's a it sort of feels like a natural progression, because the first book is about overcoming a posture individually, the second book was about managers, leaders, culture, and this book is about sort of our children, and so I feel like this is sort of like. You know, for me it's like the full rounded work that I wanted to do on it.

Speaker 1:

I love that and I look forward to it. I will definitely be grabbing a copy. I encourage everyone else to as well. It's going to be out February 11th. But as we think about it, you know, we often we've been talking even about the modeling that we do in the office or the modeling we do with our team. But, dang, we got to step back a little bit and remember we're only there for eight, whatever hours a day, but we're home the rest of the time. And so what are we modeling at home? And being willing to confront those things and have the self-awareness in service of you're, seeking to get better right, let's make sure that we kind of shed some of that imposter syndrome and the unintended consequences that come with it, for the sake of our children and what kind of leaders and people they're going to grow up to be.

Speaker 2:

They're going to be. Yeah, and talking about like legacy earlier, that is also part of your legacy of children is like the way that they end up entering the world. So I do think it's such important piece of the work. It's for me it's like a whole reset to you. It's like you know, let's get it nipped in the bud early so that we don't have to deal with it as leaders later on.

Speaker 1:

Yeah Well, my last question is one that I always love to ask people and get their insights. And so if it were your last day on earth and you have thought about all the experiences and wisdom that you have acquired over your lifetime, what is the one piece of advice that you would impart before you go?

Speaker 2:

Good question. I would say be brave and think big. It's something I didn't really do early on and I did not. You know, I was brave, but not in service of thinking big, just surviving. But I think I would. I would dream big for myself.

Speaker 1:

Love it. Well, lisa, I would love for you to share. I'll put all this in the show notes, but where can people find you? Follow you get copies of all of your books. Find out more about the services that you provide.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so my books are available in all major booksellers Amazon, Barnes, Noble you know local independent places too. I'm also on Instagram at Dr Orbe Austin, where I post I've been a little shaky over the summer because of book reserves being written and I'm also on LinkedIn. I'm a LinkedIn top voice, so you can find me talking about things there. My company is called Dynamic Transition Psychological Consultancy, the website of all the services that we tend to offer.

Speaker 1:

Excellent, excellent. Well, as I said, I'll put all of that in the show notes. Thank you for coming on. Thank you for using your wisdom and experience and story and lessons you've acquired to be able to share with others in their pursuit of greatness.

Speaker 2:

Thank you for inviting me.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for listening and for being here on this journey with me. I hope you'll stick around If you liked this episode. It would mean the world for me if you would rate and review the podcast or share it with someone you know may need to hear this message. I love to hear from you all and want you to know that you can leave me a voicemail directly. If you go to my website, evokegreatnesscom, and go to the contact me tab, you'll just hit the big old orange button and record your message. I love the feedback and comments that I've been getting, so please keep them coming. I'll leave you with the wise words of author Robin Sharma Greatness comes by doing a few small and smart things each and every day. It comes from taking little steps consistently. It comes from making a few small chips against everything in your professional and personal life that is ordinary, so that a day eventually arrives when all that's left is the extraordinary.

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