Evoke Greatness Podcast

Overcoming Adversity & Finding Your Spark with Kyle V. Robinson (Part 2)

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🎧 Episode 138: Overcoming Adversity & Finding Your Spark with Kyle V. Robinson (Part 2)

In this episode of Evoke Greatness, I continue my conversation with Kyle V. Robinson, diving deeper into his journey of personal growth, finding his tribe, and forging a path to success against all odds.

Kyle shares valuable insights on:

  • The importance of surrounding yourself with positive influences
  • How to find your tribe when you feel isolated
  • Shifting from a "fix me" mindset to an "enhance me" approach in personal development
  • The power of forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness
  • Practical tools for navigating personal growth and healing

🔑 Key takeaways:

  1. Surrounding yourself with positive influences can dramatically change your life trajectory
  2. It's never too late to change your life and demand the best for yourself
  3. Creating a life you don't want to escape from is key to overcoming destructive habits
  4. Forgiveness, especially of oneself, is crucial for personal growth and healing
  5. Your past doesn't predict your future - you have the power to change your path
  6. Consistent small actions, like journaling and reading, can lead to significant personal growth

💡 Quotes to remember: "How much longer are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?" 
"I'm not happy about it, but I am grateful that it happened because I was able to turn it into who I am today." 
"Your past doesn't predict your future."

📚 Resources:

If you're struggling to find your tribe, working on forgiving yourself or others, or looking for practical tools to aid your personal growth journey, this episode offers profound insights and actionable advice. Remember, it's never too late to change your path and create a life you don't want to escape from.

A rising tide raises all ships, and I invite you along on this journey to Evoke Greatness!

Check out my website: www.evokegreatness.com

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Evoke Greatness. We are officially entering year three of this podcast and I am filled with so much gratitude for each and every one of you who've joined me on this incredible journey of growth and self-discovery. I'm Sunny, your host and fellow traveler on this path of personal evolution. This podcast is a sanctuary for the curious, the ambitious and the introspective. It's for those of you who, like me, are captivated by the champion mindset and driven by an insatiable hunger for growth and knowledge. Whether you're just beginning your journey or you're well along your path, you're going to find stories here that resonate with your experiences and aspirations. Over the last two years, we've shared countless stories of triumph and challenge, of resilience and transformation. We've laughed, we've reflected and we've grown together. And as we've evolved, so too has this podcast. Remember, no matter what chapter you're on in your own story, you belong here. This community we've built together is a place of support, inspiration and shared growth. Where intention goes, energy flows, and the energy you bring to this space elevates us all. So, whether you're listening while commuting, working out or enjoying your morning coffee, perhaps from one of those motivational mugs I'm so fond of, know that you're a part of something special. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your curiosity, your openness and your commitment to personal growth. As we embark on year three, I invite you to lean in, to listen deeply and to let these stories resonate with your soul. I believe that a rising tide raises all ships and I invite you along in this journey to evoke greatness.

Speaker 1:

Welcome back to part two of Overcoming Adversity and Finding your Spark with Kyle V Robinson. In part two, kyle shares valuable insights on how to find a tribe when you feel isolated, shifting from a fix-me mindset to an enhance-me approach in personal development, the power of forgiveness, especially self-forgiveness, and the practical tools for navigating personal growth and healing. I hope you enjoyed part one, so let's hop into part two. Well, and I think, if you stay in that place of the darkness where it keeps you down and keeps you isolated, that loneliness almost is the thing that prevents you from coming out on the other side of it. And I think loneliness is a universal experience, especially when we're really struggling through something. So I'm curious around how did you begin to recognize and connect with your tribe? You know you talk about building a tribe when you felt isolated, when you felt lonely.

Speaker 2:

Well, I knew so we can fast forward to. So in college, I mean, I, I I met some great kids but they weren't great for me. They're you know, you know, had freedom or experienced freedom for the first time. So they're drinking a lot and doing all that. So I kind of just jumped right back in doing all that stuff again, like it was high school over again and my grades suffered. I got in some trouble again and so I limped out of college. I know fast forward through a couple of things, but I limped out of college barely graduating.

Speaker 2:

And I knew after college, if I'm going to do something with my life, I have to hang around people that are doing good things with their lives. I realized that you know at that moment like and. So when I eventually got into law school, I went and found the two smartest kids I could and just hung out with them all three years of law school. And it's very easy to find out the two smartest kids in law school. They're always raising their hand. So I just stuck to them like glue all three years because I knew they knew what they were doing and I knew if I was hanging around the kids that wanted to party and not take it seriously, I wouldn't do well at all. So I was like fine, this is your chance, kyle. You know, if you hang around with positive people or doing good things, you're going to do well too. So I hung out with those two kids and it worked. I made the Dean's list one semester. I got a certificate of merit one semester or two. That's getting the highest grade in the class. And one thing I should say too is I kind of did that my first semester of college right when I got out of high school, and I made the Dean's list my first semester of college. That's after six years in high school, at a 1.046. So that was kind of a breadcrumb. I knew if I buckled down and tried, I could do good things. So in law school I just hung out with those two kids. They got me through it and I knew okay. So if you hang around with people that are doing well and want the best for you, good things are going to happen to you.

Speaker 2:

And then eventually I did move to New York City, and that's when another amazing thing happened to me too. I got a job in this firm doing legal education and the CEO, who is the same age as me, a little bit older. He kind of took me under his wing and he talked to me all about how to set goals, about the books to read. What he did was he cultivated the seed that Mr Brady planted in me years ago. He, like he saw it in me too, and I was starting to see it in myself at this point too.

Speaker 2:

And also, I should point out, I was doing all of this stuff at first, like trying to do good in college, trying to do, you know, go to law school to prove to triple B, to prove to my mom like, hey, I'm not worthless, hey, I can do this. And at some point after law school, and I should also say, you know, I never got, you know triple V's effects. You never say congratulations or I'm proud of you, which I was, you know, subconsciously really searching for. And when I graduated law school, he actually told me, you know, I would have lost a bet. That was him saying you know, good job.

Speaker 2:

And so after that I was kind of started doing things for myself and so I met my mentor in New York city and he's told me you know, like I said, how to set goals about meditation, about running things like that, things that I was really thirsty for, and I just, you know, took all of that in and started being the person who I wanted to be from that point forward, and I was just very lucky to have somebody there and recognize that, that they were there for me.

Speaker 2:

And so before I had that, I would always tell myself, well, I don't have anybody, I don't have these like friends that are helping me out, I don't have these people that are showing me how to do good things and things like that. And what I would say to people that are saying that right now is like, well, you do have the internet, you do have these podcasts that can lift you up. You do have the internet, you do have these podcasts that can lift you up. You do have the books. You have people in history that are doing, have been in situations very, very similar to you, and they made it through. I would dive into those people and eventually, you know, come out on the other end, and so I used to make all kinds of excuses until I found the books, like, oh, this person is exactly like me, this person had this same kind of situation, and I just fed all of that in and just went, you know.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, well, and I think being able to find those tools, find the access, because sometimes people feel like, well, I don't have a mentor, you know, quote unquote a mentor, official person, and so there's no one pouring into me and to your point, similar to how I found personal development only, I think, probably 12 years ago, which seems crazy to me, given we live in the world we live in.

Speaker 1:

But I think when you're not pointed in the right direction of finding these tools that are totally out there, a lot of them are free, completely accessible. I've had the world's most famous mentors in my life because I picked up a book or because I listened to a podcast or watched a free YouTube video where these people are talking about their story and they're sharing some of the tools and tips and things that they've used to form themselves. And I think when you're at that point where you can finally recognize like, okay, if I do the work, if I pick up the book, if I read the story, if I pay attention to what's in there, you can start developing your own tools in your own toolbox, right To be able to navigate, because our circumstances, those hard balls that come at us, those don't stop. We just learn to actually deal with them. We learn to do the hard things better.

Speaker 2:

Right and what I realized too and I think this is really important I used to, you know, get into all the self-development and all the books, which I still am. I read all of it, but I came in from the point that, oh, there's something wrong with me and I need to fix it. These books will help me fix what's wrong with me. Instead, I had a shift. Actually, I learned about no, there's nothing wrong with me, but these things can enhance me and enhance my abilities and learn how to do that. Instead of saying like, oh, there's something wrong with me, there's something broken, I need to fix it. Instead, you're perfect right now and just you can enhance your abilities and your skills and how you act and how you interact, things like that, and that. It might seem minor, but it helped me out so much to see the world differently, and I actually read the books differently that way and just interacted differently that way, and so that's just my little piece of advice on that.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, no, that's great, and and I think there's so much going on in the world right now and I think people listening may be going through their own, being being in the midst of their own battles right now. What would you say to someone who is looking at their life and feeling like you know, maybe it's too late for me to change. I don't have those tools and you know I don't have. I didn't find what Kyle found Like. What would you say to those people who feel like maybe there's not that hope that they're looking for?

Speaker 2:

Well, so there's always this quote that I always go back to is what gets me through is like, how much longer are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself? And if the way I look at it now is like, okay, if you're not happy with things, you're going now this way, it's going to be two years from now. So if you're going to live two more years, is this the way you want to live life for the next two years, or do you want to try to shift it from there? Or do you want to see what you're capable of? Do you want to demand the best for yourself, to see what you can do in this life, and like people are living longer now, you know, if you're 50, 60 years old, you might still have another 30 years.

Speaker 2:

So you, oh, you know I didn't have my shot, but there's, I would say everybody's young enough to do something about it and change their trajectory of what's going on in life. Unless you want to take a look, if you're not happy the way things are going right now, nothing's going to change unless you change and do something about it. So that's what I would say about that, and also and also, I want to go back to a little bit you said about finding your tribe. So I did find those mentors, but then I found people that are positive to me. I got really big into the running community a little bit. I'm a big ultra runner and so I found a bunch of running friends too were doing the same things that I wanted to do and so I found a very lucky to find that social circuit to to a hobby of something, that about exercising and, you know, people just trying to push you beyond your limits physically and mentally.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and and this might this next question might kind of pull a little bit more on that string, but I think oftentimes substance abuse comes from that need, that desire to numb the pain, to escape the circumstances that are happening in the moment. Numb the pain, to escape the circumstances that are happening in the moment. How did you learn or kind of start to unpack those really raw emotions and get to striving for your best self without kind of the crutch of substance abuse, just especially, you know, as you got older and you started getting growing and learning to do things differently, and I imagine fitness is probably one of those things that feeds your mental resilience.

Speaker 2:

Sure, so I used it when I was in high school. I used it a to fit in and also just an escape from triple B, and then, as I got older, I was like, well, and I should point out to your listeners I'm not in recovery or anything, I just you know, obviously I don't do any of the drugs or anything that I talk about in this in the, in the book. I rarely drink, but and I have a big article on my website about binge drinking and what it does to you Anyhow, the benefits of alcohol are very, very minimal to you. So what I'll say about that with regards to, I did it as an escape, and when you don't have a life to escape from, it's very easy not to drink or do drugs, and so what I was trying to create for my life was a life that I didn't want to escape from, a life that I didn't want to be fully present for, and it's know it's, it's hard, but it's something that I work on every day, and so I think it's very important to, if you are drinking or doing drugs, you got to find out the reason on why you're doing it and then go from there and as opposed to, but if you find you know a group of friends that are supportive, you find you know a positive activities that push you forward.

Speaker 2:

I think that's what's really what you need to do and you can stop looking for an escape out of your life.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, and so many times it is something that challenges us mentally in a positive way that almost is. It's that outlet, right, it's that release of our emotions, of our tensions that we can kind of pour into. I'm an avid hiker and it's like there is no beautiful mental space better than when I'm on the mountain. It just does something for me and I think finding that thing, whatever that thing is and it doesn't have to be running and it doesn't have to be hiking for someone out there who is looking for that outlet, I do think that it has to allow you and provide you a sense of freedom from that in a positive way that adds to the future self that you know. Maybe you're not there yet, but the future self that one is hoping to become.

Speaker 2:

Right, and when I first started running, I did it for health reasons I think I talk about in the book. I was, I was, I was overweight. And then when I started running marathon, I was like, well, I can run marathons, what else can I run? And then I started doing, you know, 50 milers and then a hundred milers, just pushing my limits of what I'm capable of. And then if I could do that, if I can run those races, what else can I do in my life that I'm not applying myself in, or what? Where do I want to go from here? What? What business can I start?

Speaker 2:

You know, if other people have done it, why can't you do it and how far can you push yourself? You know, I'm really a big advocate on success leaves clues. So if other people are doing the things that you want to do, if you can follow in their footsteps, that just means you can do it too. And so I always I'm always kind of person which maybe it's a little bit of a curse I would just want to see how much I can, you know, how far I can go, or what I can do in life. It's just this ambition that now just won't stop, and so I'm always pushing to see what's what I can do, what my best self looks like.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, navigating through all of that, you know, as I, as we go to kind of that topic of forgiveness both for ourself and for others, that's a really big part of the process that you have to get through in order to kind of get out on that other side, and it's such a crucial part of the healing process overall. What was the hardest thing you had to forgive throughout this whole process of healing and how did you navigate that process?

Speaker 2:

Well, I think that. And so people might think, oh well, did you navigate that process? Well, I think the. And so people might think, oh, what did you forgive triple B? And of course I don't say, of course, but yeah, I do forgive him, but I'm not forgetting what happened, you know, I mean I can't change him.

Speaker 2:

But the biggest and this might be surprising or might not be surprising it was kind of forgiving myself for all the things that I did to myself and, like all the things that I, you know the, the bad self-talk that I did to myself that I I still struggle with sometimes today. But it's also forgiving myself and, you know, telling, you know my inner child's telling little Kyle that it's okay. You know you're not bad, you're not wrong, because your whole life you were told that and I'm just trying to. You know, I'm trying to forgive myself for, you know, being so hard on myself all the time. So the biggest thing was just trying to forgive my myself for everything that I'd done in the past, just so I can be the person that I wanted to be today and it's easier to say, you know those things, that, oh, I forgive my mom, I forgive, you know, triple B and I do and I really want to and it's, but it's also a process. But again, I can't focus on. You know if they're accepting of it or it's. It was just for me, it's not for them. So that's how hard that's.

Speaker 2:

I think the most important thing is to forgive yourself first, before you can start forgiving anybody else. Say you know what. You are. Okay, you are right, the things you are. You still are a good person and you want the best in life and you want the best for everybody else. I want the best for triple B. I want the best for my own, I, everybody else. I want the best for Triple B. I want the best for my own. I want them to be happy, but I don't have control over that. So I do forgive them for what they have done. I recognize that it happens, but I need to move forward from there and heal from there.

Speaker 1:

That had to have been an epiphany at some point. When, I think, so many people get locked up in the inability to forgive, maybe and sometimes that's others and sometimes it's themselves it's like they can't get to that point and for every moment that you don't process through that forgiveness of yourself and others, it is literally like keeping yourself in that same circumstance or in that same jail cell, of just being locked in place and that then I think that really begins to erode your heart over time.

Speaker 2:

Right, and I think what also people say oh, you know, it's easy for me to say I'm so grateful for all the bad things that happened to me in the past because I wouldn't be who I am today. That is true. I wouldn't say I'm so grateful. I recognize that it happened. I don't know if I would go back and I would have that same life again, but I need to make the most of it. I wouldn't for sure.

Speaker 2:

I I'm not grateful that it happened. I honor that it happened and I'm trying to make the best of it and be the best person I can be because of it. And so it's hard to say, you know, sometimes I am grateful because I wouldn't be here talking to you today. I don't think I would have been becoming a lawyer if it hadn't happened, but I don't know what my life would have been otherwise. So I recognize that it did happen and I'm trying to do the best because of that happened, to make the best out of a bad situation, for a lack of a better, better phrase.

Speaker 2:

And so a lot of people say oh, I'm so grateful for my trouble past. I am grateful. Somewhat I'm not happy about it, but I am grateful that happened to me because it turned into who I am today. So that's that's. I think that's a better way to say it is that I'm not happy about it, but I am grateful that it happened because I was able to turn. So and it's hard to come to that point, cause I used to say that all the time it's like oh you know, I'm very happy that all happened to me because it's who I am today. But really look inside yourself. And then when I wrote the book, that was pretty healing for me, so I think that was a big part of it too.

Speaker 1:

When you think about the book. What is the biggest message out of the book that you want to share with the world?

Speaker 2:

Well, I think there's a lot of message. Number one is your past doesn't predict your future. I think that's so important and so obviously, my, my story if you you know my story, your past, like I could have went and it's kind of why it's called wandering spark that spark could have went somewhere else and just blew up my whole life. And so your past doesn't predict your future. And also, if you have that belief in yourself that you can do something good, like I said before, hold on to that for dear life, like cause. That's going to be the trajectory of your life. And then also it's important about who you spend your time with.

Speaker 2:

It's so very important who you spend your time with, cause that's that old saying is you're the average of the five people you spend your time with. That's so very true. So find the people that you want you emulate or want to be like. And if you can't find those people, you can find them on podcasts, you can find them in books, and so those are really my message in books. And you know, and just do the right things and be kind and just believe in yourself and move forward from there. Those are the kind of my message in the books, but I'm curious on what you got from it.

Speaker 1:

I think about. There's so much opportunity in the book, and I won't say I had a super similar upbringing to yours, but I went quite wayward and so there were some things in there that was like ooh, it kind of pulled me back to some times and I think those are really great books because it kind of helps you continue unpacking those things that maybe you went through in your life and what. I think your perspective is similar to my perspective today, which is there is opportunity in all of our circumstances, if you are willing to view it that way, right, and there is a choice in our circumstances, and maybe not in the moment when we're a kid, but, as I mean from the time that we know right and wrong, we really have the opportunity to have some sort of choice. And so maybe that's not until we're 18 and we're out of the house or whatever that looks like, but there is the opportunity to either hold onto your circumstances and let those things define you in a negative way, and there are people who are 80 years old and all their dreams will go to their grave with them because nothing was ever.

Speaker 1:

I never, I didn't have the right cards in my hand.

Speaker 1:

I wasn't born with this.

Speaker 1:

I didn't, you know, I didn't get this poured into me, and I just think I am of the belief that if you put enough energy and effort into it and you do the work, virtually everything is possible. And, and probably for the first 35 years of my life, I didn't think that I was pretty much had a pretty fixed mindset, but it was when I started exploring like what if I don't have to be a certain way because of the choices I made when I was younger, or what I you know what I chose to get into or not out of? And and so I I just think it's the biggest thing, is like a big sign of you have a choice. There is an opportunity, even in the hardest of circumstances, to come out on the other side. And then you take it a step further, and it's what you're doing, which is sharing your story, and it's not always easy and sometimes it's messy and complicated, but you have the courage to share your story so that other people can recognize that their circumstances don't have to hold them back.

Speaker 2:

Right, I agree, and just a couple things you point out. So first is you know, obviously success is not just a straight line. It was all over the place. I had a bunch of downs, like even in college and law school and things like that. So it's not just a linear. You just go straight, you know, oh, once I figure it out, oh, you're going to college or it's straight to law school. It wasn't like that. And then those bad things that happen to you in life, you can, like you said, you can use that as a choice and actually as an excuse. Well, this happened to me. So of course I'm going to go this way and choose, choose the bad way, so to speak. And so it's always about the choices you make and just the obstacle that you're coming over is happening for a reason. Just use that to go forward and just how you're going to navigate through it that way.

Speaker 1:

What tools would you say? Somebody may be navigating their own story and they're in the space where they can see the opportunity. They're not quite sure what to do. What tools or tips would you share that have been effective for you throughout your journey with other people that maybe they should be open to explore?

Speaker 2:

Well, I'm a big advocate of journaling, huge about journaling. If you're familiar with the Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, she has a stream of conscious journaling which talks about you write three pages a day and I'm a big advocate for that because, hey, a couple of things you'll once you get on, like the third page, you'll start seeing that's the good stuff you know you could write about, you know your day or what's going on, and then, once you get on a third day, you talk about I hate this person, or you know I'm mad, I made this mistake or whatever it is you know, and so that's actually good stuff. So I'm a big advocate on the journaling because you see patterns, what's going on. If you're talking about the same thing for two months, maybe you should do something about that or take it in a different direction. So I'm a big advocate for journaling and exercising. I'm a huge, obviously. I'm a big runner, so I'm a huge runner. I do meditate a little bit, but I think more of my running is my meditation. I get my mind clear because of that, just getting outside in nature. So those are the biggest things that change my life, the tools and I do.

Speaker 2:

I'm I read a lot as much as possible. So I'm a big reader, so and the way I do it now is, you know, I'm kind of busy and so when I set it up as I have on my calendar, okay, you're going to read 30 minutes a day, and I shut everything off and I sit there and I read 30 minutes a day until you know the 30 minutes up, and then I go on with my day just to make sure I get it in. And it's because of those tools that I'm able to, you know, a stay sane and keep pushing my life forward. And also I'm a big advocate of therapy too. I use IFS therapy internal family systems therapy, which I don't know if you ever heard of, but if people are looking into get some, you know some therapy. I highly recommend Richard Schwartz. He's the founder of IFS therapy. Look into that If you want to. You know, help yourself out. It's all about helping your inner child and your different parts that are inside you and talking to them.

Speaker 1:

Awesome. Well, I would love for you to share. Where can everybody find you follow you? Pick up a copy of the book. We'll put all this in the show notes, but Sure.

Speaker 2:

So on all social medias. I'm at Kyle B Robinson, so, and then I have my website, kylebrobinsoncom, and I think wonderingsparkcom goes there as well too.

Speaker 1:

Awesome. I would definitely again recommend everybody pick up A Box of Tissues Maybe that's just me for the book, because it is as I said. It's an emotional and powerful journey through your story, but in it I would almost guarantee that somewhere through the story someone's going to be able to resonate with something and it causes you to get a little introspective. Through this, I know it did for me, and so thank you for doing the work and thank you for having the courage to put your story out there and just for being able to come on and share with our listeners this powerful journey and holding up that sign of opportunity for them in their lives.

Speaker 2:

You're welcome, sunny. I really appreciate you taking the time. So glad I can share my story. Yeah, people want to reach out, feel free. You're welcome, sonny. I really appreciate you taking the time. So glad I can share my story. Yeah, people want to reach out, feel free.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for listening and for being here on this journey with me. I hope you'll stick around If you liked this episode. It would mean the world for me If you would rate and review the podcast or share it with someone you know. Many to hear this message. I love to hear from you all and want you to know that you can leave me a voicemail directly. If you go to my website, evokegreatnesscom, and go to the contact me tab, you'll just hit the big old orange button and record your message. I love the feedback and comments that I've been getting, so please keep them coming. I'll leave you with the wise words of author Robin Sharma Greatness comes by doing a few small and smart things each and every day. It comes from taking little steps consistently. It comes from making a few small chips against everything in your professional and personal life that is ordinary, so that a day eventually arrives when all that's left is the extraordinary.

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